The Daily Dose/September 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was
1. Democrats – With lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars as the incumbent, noted political party should be looking forward to naming score in November…They are not and are mucking this up as – paced by candidate with charisma of toothpick – election is still up in the air.
2. MLB – Beer league rules implemented for 2020 permit first-ever game-ending, leadoff sacrifice fly…Bottom of 10th inning started with runner on second who advances to third and scores on fly ball to outfield…What’s next, doubleheaders with 7-inning games?
3. College Football – Some teams are playing – betting a kid’s death against millions in TV money – while some teams – betting player on another team will die against no TV money – aren’t, a brilliant example of NCAA leadership…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” some kid is going die this season and that not playing will be looked back on as prudent call.
4. Lauren Daigle – Singer’s latest hit, You Say, extends record for most weeks on top of any Billboard singles chart with 101st non-consecutive week at #1 on Hot Christian Songs chart….Dolly Parton, of all people, is in runner-up spot with There Was Jesus, a duet with Zach Williams, whoever that is.
5, President Trump Fact Check – The 5-hole staple, click here for latest falsehoods from Liar-in-Chief, who actually had nerve to compare himself to Churchill…Only possible way Trump could be compared to Churchill if he also drank Johnnie Walker Black, but Trump doesn’t drink at all, much less in quantities Churchill did.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow shows he is on board with human rights.
Q had a couple of admin things for me to do when I reported for duty…The first was to sign something acknowledging that I support the home office’s human rights policy…I am not making that up…A company of assorted hotel franchises has a human rights policy…I fully support it, of course, and I signed with relish…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Redneck Randy has a funny line.
It was so slow last night all three of us responded to a boring, routine call as if it were the Watts riots. It was about 0515 or so, in the short term parking lot, where there was some very minor damage to a Lincoln Navigator, which may have been caused by a Ford Taurus. Or not. There were some white marks on the Navigator, but they looked kinda old. I called Redneck Randy in for a consultation.
“As far as I can tell,” he said. “I think you’re right.”
“As far as you can tell? I thought you rednecks were experts on bodywork?”
“In causing it, yeah.”
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1899 – Dr Henry Bliss becomes the first recorded death in America resulting from an automobile accident when he is run over by a taxi near Central Park in New York City. Bliss had been alighting from a streetcar when he was hit and the driver was later found not guilty of manslaughter, due to a lack of malice and negligence. The first auto accident death in the world had occurred in London in 1896.
In 1986 – Bert Blyleven of the Minnesota Twins establishes a new American League record for most home runs allowed in a season in a 14-1 loss to the Texas Rangers. Blyleven allowed five home runs to break the record of 43 established by Pedro Ramos of the Washington Senators in 1957. He would allow six more home runs that season, establishing a new major league record, 50, that still stands.
In 1986 – Berlin is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Take My Breath Away. It was the second and final Top 40 hit for the group and remains their only #1 song. Take My Breath Away went to #1 in five other countries, including Belgium and Great Britain and won songwriters Georgio Moroder and Tom Whitlock the Academy Award and the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song. The song returned to the Hot 100 in 2004 when a version by Jessica Simpson peaked at #20.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I am sure that if the gods (who probably don’t exist) really wanted to speak to us, they could find a better messenger than the liver of a bull... – Gore Vidal, Julian
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Elvis Presley’s biggest chart single was All Shook Up, which spent eight weeks at #1. His biggest record was the double-sided hit Don’t Be Cruel and Hound Dog, which spent eleven weeks at #1.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Whose major league home runs allowed in a season record did Bert Blyleven break? – Answer next time!
