The Daily Dose/February 16, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…
1. Houston Astros – Your fake contrition about your sign-stealing imbroglio didn’t fool anybody, but Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters wondering how opposing catchers didn’t find themselves wondering why a loud noise was coming from your dugout every time an offspeed pitch was thrown.
2. GOP – Hey guys, you and I both know you can do better than nominating a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars for president, but you are going to renominate him anyway…Thanks, GOP!!!
3. Democrats – Country still collectively drumming fingers on kitchen tables wondering when you are going to produce a front runner that can captivate the electorate’s imagination…No rush, of course, the election is only in 261 days, there’s plenty of time.
4. Legal Weed – Pot store probably being built next door to Daily Dose world headquarters will probably look better than the abandoned house, garage there now, and legal weed does get slackers in the workforce, dude, but our yard better not smell like weed, dammit.
5. Major Party Fact Check – Click here for the latest misinformation from both President Trump and the Democrats.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow spends no small part of his hotel shift on the phone. Today’s Diary.
A couple came from guys looking to score…Both asked if we had “anything cheaper” than the $159, plus tax, I’d had the nerve to quote and one asked if we had a hot tub available and then a guy called and I quoted him the $159, plus tax, and he babbled something and then asked if we had anything less than the “the $139” available.
Ha! An admirable ploy, repeating a figure less than the quoted rate and an old trick, first appearing 20 minutes after Bell filed his telephone patent…No go…I corrected him and he wasn’t interested in $159, plus tax, either.
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On This Date
Great moments in us.
In 1960 – The USS Triton, a US Navy nuclear submarine, sails from New London, Connecticut on its shakedown cruise, a cruise that would result in the first submerged circumnavigation of the globe in human history. The submerged navigation began on February 24 near St Peter and St Paul Rocks a bit south of the Equator in the Atlantic Ocean and lasted 60 days covering 26,723 nautical miles (a nautical mile is 2,000 yards or 6,000 feet) and crossed the Equator four times. The voyage remains known, in part, for a photograph of a man in a dugout canoe paddling about 50 yards of Triton’s starboard beam near the Philippines.
In 1970 – Joe Frazier wins the heavyweight championship of the world defeating Jimmy Ellis with a fourth-round technical knockout at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Frazier would defend his title four times before losing it to Geroge Foreman in January 1973. Frazier had also won the heavyweight gold medal at the 1964 Tokyo Olympics and finished his professional career with a record of 32-4-1.
In 1980 – The Captain and Tennille are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Do That to Me One More Time. It was the duo’s ninth Top 40 hit and second #1 song. Do That to Me One More Time also went to #1 in Belgium and South Africa, peaked at #7 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 5th biggest song of the year. The song was also their only appearance on Billboard’s soul chart, peaking at #58, and remains their final Top 40 pop chart appearance.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
One who cannot cast aside a treasure at need is in fetters – J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Percy Faith’s Theme From a Summer Place was Billboard’s biggest hit of 1960, spending nine weeks at #1.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was the result of Joe Frazier’s last professional fight? – Answer next time!
