It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, June 9
Boy, the flooding at the hotel was worse than last night, and last nite’s was the worst we’ve seen here.
Our big idea heading into the parking lot was to drive around and scope matters out…So we turned right instead of left, but we didn’t even make it halfway down…Even in the dark, you could see water was past the curb it was pouring over, at the far end and it was up to the front of some fenders…Damn, that’s some water, so the command decision was made to call off the grand tour and back up and go park…There was more water everywhere…It was well up in front of the dumpster area and all in all about three-quarters of the lot was flooded, up from a bit more than half last nite.
We report for duty and it occurs to us that if water is about to cover exhaust pipes and the bottom of doors, guests may very well start asking what the hotel is prepared to do for them…Nothing is the answer because you park at your own risk, but you don’t need to get snitty here…So we text GM Scott to call us when he had the chance and he called almost immediately…The deal was not so much the flooding was worse than last time – a text or email could’ve handled that – but the prospect that guests would be asking us what we could do for them…Well, here’s a Sparrow ProTip (SPT) from me to you: anytime there is the prospect of guests wondering what your hotel’s liability in any given situation might be, you best be calling the GM…They will appreciate it, for a couple of reasons…One, they don’t want to be caught unawares Monday morning wondering why all these bastard guests are wondering when their checks are going to be cut, and, two, a GM might have insights that might’ve escaped a dullard nite auditor.
We’re out by Door #4 investigating matters when – with Movie of the Week timing – the lawn sprinklers come on…I am not making that up…It’s academic, really, because the sprinklers aren’t set to Great Flood, but there were a mother and son (or if they’re not mother and son the broad is nicely robbing the cradle) out there who evidently were the Western Hemisphere’s foremost authority on sprinklers, with the kid insisting there was a valve right there on the lawn that contained valves that could shut the water off…If not, the controller was doubtlessly nearby, where any idiot could shut the sprinklers off.
A couple of things here:
1) The sprinklers were not materially contributing to the problem; they could be left on;
2) We can’t have civilians messing with hotel stuff.
So, with typical Sparrow grace, we thank him and said no, but he was one of those who believed whining could overcome any obstale and finally, we had to show him a palm and advise that while grateful for the offer, no means no – the Sparrow Equivalent (SE) of bringing the tablets down from Mount Sinai.
GM Scott was on property soon after…(AGM Brandon is on vacation, by the by)…He noted Hotel B was getting off relatively easy, but that residential hotel next door was basically a medieval castle, a building surrounded by a moat…He looked around, gave a few directions that we were going to do anyway, and dealt with guests while we were off running around.
There are a couple of lessons here, valuable lessons for the new nite auditor and reinforcements for veterans…One, do not under any circumstances, even torture, admit liability…Do not say your parking lot doesn’t drain well or that something should’ve been fixed ages ago…The second lesson is do not – again under any circumstances – mention the signs in the parking lot or the waiver on their registration card noting they park at their own risk, that parking is a courtesy, and the hotel is not liable for damages…Guests really don’t want to hear that under these circumstances.
Some good humor and empathy – not to mention relentless cordiality go a long way here, and we strongly suspect make a difference between some forbearance on the guest’s part and them calling the home office.
Right before he left, GM Scott asked about no-shows, noting we still had a few arrivals…We told him that no-shows were checked in as if they had shown up right before we do the nite audit, generally a little after midnite, which has long been hotel policy…It differs, tho…Some places you leave as arrivals and when the audit is run they’re sent to the no-show bin…The hotel ended up getting paid, and GM Scott wondered aloud if the hotel was obliged to pay the 5% franchise fee for no-show revenue.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1030 Sunday until 2030 Sunday…10.0 hours for the day, another wonderful start to the sleep week…It was a good rest, too…We’re mostly over our sickies, so we’re not waking up with plugged noses and mouths that feel yucky because we were breathing thru them…God bless all of you.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!
