It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, August 25
We had a pretty good laff with W tonite at the hotel…We had just settled in at the front desk and I asked if we were sold out – par for the Sparrow course, even in slow season – and she said of course not and we said no problemo because ol’ Sparrow was here to move some product…W laffed – even her laffs have that pleasant Nigerian accent – and made a chopping motion with a hand and said “That is Sparrow…selling rooms for our bonus”…Full of optimism, we noted that our middle name was “Sold Out”.
Then we saw how many vacancies there were…For some reason, we had allowed W to give us the impression that we were actually close to a sellout…We were not…Not even…There were 25 vacancies, and it was not reasonable to expect yours truly to move more than a couple of them…Sold Out Sparrow (SOS) would not be a thing tonite.
The big news is we made two pots of coffee tonite..I am not making that up…We started our own, personal pot as soon as we got there, but we sometimes don’t pour our first cup until we settle into the back office an hour or so into the shift…Well, about 2230 some workers come into the lobby, and their day is starting, and they’re looking for caffeination…Morning Coffee Service from the earlier in the day is still out and they’re hovering around it like vultures with nobody willing to go in and grab the first cup…Good thing, too, because it’s been sitting for hours.
So we offer to make them a fresh pot, and then it hits us: our personal pot of joe remains untouched!!!…So we went and got it and put it out, and they took so much of it we were obliged to make some more.
The big news is paramedics were on property and an elderly woman was transported to General Hospital (GH)…There’s a tour group in-house and the leader, Joan, is a regular visitor here and at 0015 or so she shows up at the front desk and advises that the gal in 114 is suffering shortness of breath…We ask if she wants 911 called and she says she doesn’t know and what she really wants is for me to go to the room with her so we can “assess matters” and “consider options”.
Oh good gravy…Not only is this is the last thing I want to do, it is, frankly, the last thing you want me doing because I’m just a halfwit hotel desk clerk, not fucking Hawkeye Pierce…Besides, I’m going to err on the side of caution, summoning every medic in the tri-state area to the hotel if I have to because if she dies, I don’t want her heirs suing me for not calling someone.
And, frankly, we can assess until the cows come home, but the only two options will still be either call 911 or not call 911…Joan saw my point but noted she would like me there for moral support, which was fair enuff, so we went.
On arrival, we were met by Sylvia…She’s 75 and probably only having trouble adjusting to the altitude – we’re at about 6,900 feet – but after talking it over with Joan, herself no spring chicken, ol’ Sparrow was summoned to call 911…Joan fretted this would screw up her tour because the bus was pulling out at 0800 with or without Sylvia.
As it turned out, it was without Sylvia…She was issued an oxygen tank at the ER, and some guy brought another one by later…Around 0730 she wandered into the lobby and we made plane reservations for her, from Sparrow Regional to the big city, where she would catch up with the tour later today.
There was a text from Carolyn this morning asking if I was free for breakfast…We were heading to GH so we weren’t, but even if we were heading home, we probably would’ve said no because she always makes plans for other things after we go out and we are letting this annoy us right now.
And we don’t think we reported this, but there was also a text from Carolyn when we left GH at 2300 Wednesday…She had sent it a few minutes earlier so there she was, crawling into bed and thinking of yours truly…So we texted her right back inviting her to invite me up for a nitecap…Hubba-hubba…But no invite was forthcoming…She said she had Air B&B guests in and she had an early hike anyway.
It was more money stealing at GH today…Another dead slow shift…John was there again and like last week we went to the cafeteria for breakfast…We didn’t eat anything, tho, because recall we moved some really good weight Saturday nite and we wanted to reinforce that, and a biscuit breakfast sandwich would not do that…So we had the protein shake we brought along for this purpose.
Recall we worked Friday swing shift for John because had forgotten his anniversary…It was his 42nd or so, and we scolded him, saying that after that long it should be easy to remember, but he said no, the exact opposite was true: you start to forget after a while, and he’s right…We recall forgetting our June 14 anniversary with The Ex…June was had down, but after a few years, we had trouble remembering whether it on the 11th or the 14th.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1630 Sunday until 2030 Sunday…4.0 hours for the session…This is a lousy start to the sleep week, of course, but whores like me scarf up hours at the second job when they’re offered.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!
