It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, June 4
Boy, ol’ Sparrow was dead tired tonite…Readers keeping score at home know that between getting up at 2130 Tuesday and 2130 Friday ol’ Sparrow got about 12.5 hours of sleep, about half what was needed, and we felt it tonite…Everything was a half-step slow and counting the drawers was a chore, so much so the right drawer ended up being 80 cents short, an add total
It could’ve been someone, tho, who paid cash for a room and the corresponding drop was incorrect, or it could be ol’ Sparrow screwed up counting dimes, tho eight are an awful lot of dimes to miscount…Still tho, it’s a possibility that cannot entirely be discounted…So we dove in on recounting the dimes and BOOM, ol’ Sparrow had screwed that up, miscounting eight dimes, something would be tuff even for Stevie Wonder…Or perhaps we counted them right and entered the wrong figure on the Cash Drawer Spreadsheet…Either way, the drawer ended up balancing…The left drawer balanced, too, on the first attempt, tho it should be noted ol’ Sparrow took extra care, even counting a couple of stacks/trays twice.
The big news is the billing of departing guests is now not to be done until after 0300…The email from Front Desk Manager Brandon announcing this was rather confusing and yours truly was obliged to ask Assistant Front Desk Manager Q for clarification, but it seems the new credit card processing system changes its day over at 0300, so after we billed after changing our day over whenever the nite audit was run – usually about midnite – we were actually billing on a different accounting day than the new processing system was on, which was causing the books to not balance or reconcile. Or whatever they call it, I’m only a humble nite auditor.
Despite utter exhaustion, ol’ Sparrow did manage to get off a funny…About 0300 you could hear a couple of guys considering options at the sundry stand and then one guy says, wearyingly, oh, I don’t wanna ring the bell, in a tone that indicated he really didn’t to bother me which is funny because if you’re obliging us to get up out of our chair and waddle out to serve you, you are technically bothering me.
I don’t know…Call it the instincts all the great ones have if you must, but yours truly strongly suspected the kids would enjoy some smartass, zero-dark-thirty, nite auditor humor.
No, go ahead and ring it!!!…It’s OK!!!
Now, there’s no telling, of course, if that is going to be a Line of the Year candidate – you simply never know in the Graveyard Humor Racket – but it got a chuckle, and the kid rang the bell, too.
Ol’’ Sparrow took advantage of being up earlier than planned (see Sleep Log below) to get the first watering of the season in…The lawn, thanks to a wet spring and the natural fertilizer application, is looking really good…It’s a deep green where usually around now it’s already starting to lighten a bit and even brown in some places…We started with the area between the house and the new weed store and you had to be careful here because you don’t want to get any water on the weed store parking lot…So we used that old yellow sprinkler head that we found in the shed when we bought The Shire…It does a pretty good job of getting the entire area, too, without getting any on the weed store.
The big news is yours truly is coming down with something…Actually, it’s been heralding its arrival for a couple of days, first with a boil and then with that same pain-in-the-right-cheek nonsense regular readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall from last November…It resulted in a couple of weeks of discomfort and sometimes outright pain, so we made a mental note to look into it so we might perhaps avoid two weeks of pain.
We laid down for a nap before heading into the hotel but it was no go…The pain was too distracting, one of those deals where your mind focuses on one thing exclusively, which usually happens when we’re sickies.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Sunday until 1400 Sunday…5.0 hours for the day and 42.0 hours for the week, a depressing total…We really haven’t had a satisfactory week of rest since giving up caffeine last month, and only a few decent days/nites of rest.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!
