It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, December 16
Recall yesterday it wasn’t entirely clear if ol’ Sparrow would head into town for his usual Thursday workout and then to the next county to have lunch and shop at the retailer because it was supposed to snow.
Well, the weather cooperated but everything was waved off, as yours truly decided it would be best to stay home today…It was a good call because yours truly slept in (see Sleep Log below) and a somewhat leisurely day off was enjoyed at The Shire.
The first use of the snow mover for the season is in the books, and yours truly is pleased to report that even in its 11th season it is still providing good service…I even remembered how to start it without looking up the instructions: turn the key to “ON”, open the fuel line and pull the choke out…It didn’t start right up – it took a few pulls – but once it did it was ready for duty and yours truly even remembered to push the choke back in after it was going…For maximum coverage, I even moved the new ride out of the driveway and parked it on Maple Street because there was a good four inches on the ground.
I even went thru the folly of plowing a few feet of the lawn just off the driveway, the direction the goddamned snow plow comes from…Recall this is the suggested method to ensure there isn’t a 10-foot berm blocking your driveway after the plow comes thru, but longtime readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall this has been tried in the past with the same success as if I’d’ve just piled snow in front of the driveway myself.
The tuff call for this evolution was deciding what to wear…The problem was all of my lined pants were being washed and it hit me to wear that red union suit that ol’ Sparrow could’ve sworn would get regular use up here but actually hasn’t been worn in years…It was a pretty good call and from a small town fashion standpoint, actually presented one heck of a look with the overalls.
Immediately following was a trip to the post office and the store, the only planned excursion from The Shire of the day…At the post office were the books I’d bought in Pasadena…(They had actually arrived Monday, but ol’ Sparrow couldn’t be bothered to check the mail then.)…It was good to get the package because recall I’d lost my George Washington biography at the big city airport last month and haven’t been reading anything substantive since and immediately dove in on Churchill’s Triumph and Tragedy.
After that, I went to the market across the street from the post office but fortunately discovered I’d forgotten my wallet before actually presenting myself at a checker with stuff to buy.
Also in the mail was a jury summons…I am not making that up…It’s my second since moving here and while the first was waved off there are the usual high hopes for this one because no one loves jury duty more than ol’ Sparrow…Pa Sparrow talking about jury duty at the kitchen table is still fondly remembered, as is my jury service in Sin City years ago…I was the foreman, elected with broad base support from women, labor (the stereo installer) and minorities, and artfully guided my comrades to the appropriate verdict, that the accused while driving drunk (his lawyer admitted as much) did not cause significant bodily injury, which deflated the two hapless young prosecutors, who are probably now convenience store clerks or something.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1800 Wednesday until 0400 Thursday…10.0 hours for the week – a strong comeback after consecutive 4-hour sessions – and 29.5 hours for the week.
I was about 0030 to use the can and was ready to put some coffee on because regular readers of this crap know this is within an hour of the usual Thursday rising time but yours truly thought screw it, this is my only day off between 60-hour workweeks, so triumphantly hopped back in the sack, executed a patented Sparrow Roll Over (SRO) to emphasize my commitment to further slumber and BOOM the next thing anybody knows it’s 0400 and the cat’s intimating she’s about to starve.
———
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Gaylon’s books can also be found at The Reading Salon.
