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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, October 9
A disaster…A complete and totally unmitigated disaster.
I was ready…I had very good opening and closing statements, the hair looked good and the falsies were cooperating and I had my usual thoughtful and substantive positions on a wide variety of issues ready to go.
I was asked about none of them…I was surprised…Here we are, a country that has been at war for 30 years, is $21 trillion in debt and where gunfire is quickly becoming the major form of social interaction and the first question I was asked was what my plan was to prevent forest fires!!!
I am not making that up!!!
What I wanted to say, but didn’t, was that I am running for Congress and not Smokey The Bear…I said something about this really is a state issue and then I was otherwise unqualified to provide an answer and I was not going to waste anyone’s time BSing an answer…This actually got a round of applause…It was the high point of the evening.
Now, I was able to answer the second question, but I was obliged to offer apologies for questions three and four…I forget what they were…My opponent, the Democratic challenger (the GOP incumbent couldn’t be bothered to show up) had answers for everything…She sounded like a car salesman.
I stuck around till the end and several people, maybe a dozen or so, came up and said a variety of nice words…They liked my opening and closing statements…They appreciated my honesty…They respected my courage in running…I graciously thanked all of them for their kind words because they were very nice to hear, especially under the circumstances.
What was really funny was the sheriff, who I have a nodding acquaintance with, and his challenger Kristin, who I am friends with, have a very nice feud going…Kristin was a cop with the local PD and I am not exactly certain of the entire story, so I am not going to mention it, but she is no longer a cop on the local PD…The Sheriff called her a drug addict in his closing remarks and her husband hounded him during their session and afterward…The sheriff walked up and confronted him in the hallway and almost called 911…In fact, he had the phone in his hand.
I was prepared for a good night because I had a great day…I woke up without the alarm and had a very leisurely day…I remember reading about the first Kennedy/Nixon debate a few years before I was born…Nixon had spent the day campaigning and declined makeup and declined to shave…Kennedy, on the other hand, spent the day at leisure and looked rested and confident while Nixon looked like crap…It was reported at the time that those that saw the debate thought Kennedy won, while those who listened on radio thought Nixon won.
So I didn’t do too much…I worked on my opening and closing remarks, ultimately – and after some fretting – printing them out on 5×7 cards…Then I want to lunch at the local diner, indulging in my favorite Stromboli…Even tho I was up and about I couldn’t be bothered to go and check the mail…When I got home I laid down and did some reading before it was time to shower and get ready.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0030 Tuesday until 0630 Tuesday…I thought I would have slept longer, frankly…I was tired and went more or less right to sleep after some token reading but no…I think I will take a PM tonight because I still feel like I am owed a few hours.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.
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