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The Daily Dose/December 10, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

HUT, HUT, HIKE: Official Daily Dose Faves, the cavalcade known as the Mount Union Purple Raiders football team, continues its trek to the 2016 NCAA Division III national football championship today, stopping in some gawd-awful Texas backwater to take on Mary Hardin-Baylor in the national semifinals.

Breakdown Segment: Despite the fact they sound like an entry in the NCAA tennis regionals, Mary Hardin-Baylor has a football program deserving of respect.

Fly In The Ointment: Well, as much respect as you can have for a program that has won zero (0) national championships – twelve fewer than Mount Union – though they were national runners-up in 2004.

Back On Message: This will be the Crusaders third appearance in the national semifinals, and all have been against the Mount Union Purple Raiders!

The series is tied 1-1. In 2004 the evil Crusaders beat our beloved Raiders 38-35 and in 2012 Mount Union won 48-35.

Oh Yeah: The Crusaders (13-0) are 12-time defending champions of the American Southwest Conference

Getting To Know You: Mary Hardin-Baylor was founded in 1845 as Baylor Female College. Despite its founding as a chick college, guys attended for the first few years, until they were separated. In 1886 both the female and male colleges relocated to their current location: Baylor Female College to Belton and Baylor to Waco. Baylor Female College became Mary Hardin-Baylor in 1934, after the Hardins gave the school a lot of money and it became fully coeducational in 1971. Their athletics programs spent many years in the NAIA before joining the NCAA around the turn of the century.

Road Raiders: Mount Union appears to be completely at home on the road. Today’s game is their tenth road game this year – next week’s Amos Alonzo-Stagg Bowl in Salem, Virginia will be their eleventh – and they are the first team to win three road games to reach the national semifinals.

More Running The Numbers: Mount Union is in the national semifinals for – and we are not making this up – the 22^nd consecutive year. They have played in the Amos Alonzo-Stagg Bowl every year since 2005.

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: Our Purple Raiders are looking for their 13^th Division III national championship, a record for teams playing playoff football.

Yeah, Yeah, Whatever: Mount Union will take on the winner of the John Carroll/Wisconsin-Oshkosh-By-Gosh semifinal. It’s the second meeting of the year for them, with UW-Oshkosh-By-Gosh winning the season opener 33-14.

A Fond Remembrance: Last year in the national semifinals, Mount Union defeated the bastards from UW-Wherever 36-6.

IT’S GREAT TO BE THE KING, UNLESS YOU’RE NOT THE KING: King Edward of Great Britain and other assorted places signs the Instrument of Abdication that leads to the end of his reign as King of England on this date in 1936.

This caused a bit of a bloody problem because there was no provision anywhere for a sovereign to abdicate. Traditionally you became sovereign when someone, probably your mom or dad, died and you stopped becoming sovereign when you died. So Edward could not merely resign. He had to produce an Instrument of Abdication, which announced his intention to abdicate the throne. Then parliament had to produce an act which approved of Edward’s abdication.

The King Has Abdicated! Long Live The King: Even this wasn’t enough, because then Edward had to give his assent to the act of parliament. Once he did this, the following day, his brother Albert took the throne as King George IV.

Hey Batter, Batter: The American League decides to give the designated hitter a three-year trial run on this date in 1972.

It was not a new idea. Pitchers by and large never could hit and Philadelphia A’s owner Connie Mack proposed the DH in 1906. The American League would make the DH permanent three years later. The National League still forces pitchers to bat.

Get Your Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We are pro-DH here at the Daily Dose. Who the hell wants to see a pitcher hit? We don’t. Anybody who talks about the purity of the game or the glories of a sacrifice bunt or how they miss the strategy the DH takes away can go play chess. There’s enough strategy there.

Thought For The Day: …the sage is not bound to poverty; if wealth comes to him honestly he must take it; but he must be capable of abandoning it at any time without serious regret. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol. III, Caesar and Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Rod Blagojevich is the only Illinois governor to be removed from office.

Today’s Stumper:  The Trivia feature will return.

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