The Daily Dose/September 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA!: America passed the 200,000 mark in COVID-19 deaths recently, the highest total in the world, about 67,000 more than Brazil.
Fly In The Ointment: America, though, is lagging in some other metrics, ranking only 11th in cases per one million people and 10th in deaths per one million people. Our death rate amongst closed cases is 5%, a figure that has held more or less steady in the past few weeks.
But Seriously Folks: There’s no sign of these figures getting any better, either, and there’s enough blame here to go around.
Dry, Technical Matter: One, America has never had a coordinated national response. President Trump ensured a tardy and incompetent response and America has never recovered from that. Our fractured, partisan and bickering government has ensured that America won’t have a coordinated national response for a while now.
Fly In The Ointment II: We can only blame our government so much though. America must look herself in her collective mirror because our partisan, fractured and bickering citizenry has some people taking precautions and some people not.
The Bottom Line: Everyone in this country has blood on her hands. We tolerated an inept initial response and we are tolerating our current fiasco. We are not going to get anything better, either, until we start demanding better of our government and ourselves. Had we handled this competently, we feel America’s COVID death toll would be at no more than 30,000 people.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow briefly overbooks the hotel.
I pulled up her account, looked at availability and said sure, that would be no problem…Had I bothered to enter it…I didn’t tho and about 0600 Ms 110 presented herself at the front desk with the folio I’d slid under her door because she was scheduled to check out wondering, very reasonably, what the deal was.
Crap…We’re sold out for tonight, too, so extending her stay would overbook us, a real hassle but there really wasn’t another option because I had told her she could stay…So I extended her stay and overbooked us.
One of the Wonders of the Front Desk is sometimes you have good luck when you need it…Not more than five minutes later 233 came up and announced he was departing a day early…I am not making that up…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon gets to use one of his all-time fave lines.
At 0615 I park at Eddie – 2 to head down and turn my scanner in and I run into Bi-Bob, Brandon, and a couple of others sitting and talking. I slum for the cheap, easy laugh.
“Good morning, men…Bob.”
Used in moderation, this line never gets old. And like all my good lines, this one isn’t original either.
The Bottom Ten Presented By COVID-19/NFL Week 4: With The Bottom Ten in reruns this year, The NFL Bottom Ten continues its chronicle of Cleveland’s winless, historic 2017 season with the 2017 NFL Week 4 survey, offered with our compliments.
3. Cleveland Browns (0-2; lost to Baltimore 24-10) – Defending B-10 champions off another 0-2 start…Browns using tried and true formula in quest for B-10 glory, refusing to rush for 100 yards and turning ball over five (5) times…Next Loss: at Indianapolis
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1338 – Gunpowder artillery is used in naval battle for the first time as the French Navy defeats the English Navy at the Battle of Arnemuiden off the coast of what is now The Netherlands. The English ship Christopher had three cannons and a sidearm, but the English squadron of five cogs was outmanned by the French, who not only seized the five ships but also a large cargo of wool before killing their prisoners. It was the first naval battle of the Hundred Years War, which had begun the year before and would result in a French victory in 1453.
In 1969 – John Miller of the Los Angeles Dodgers becomes the only player in major league history to hit home runs in first and last major league at-bats in a 6-1 loss to the Cincinnati Reds in the first game of a doubleheader. Miller, who played a variety of positions, had also homered in his first at-bat for the New York Yankees on September 11, 1966. Those would be the only two home runs for Miller in a career that spanned 61 at-bats in 32 games.
In 1972 – Conway Twitty is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with I Can’t Stop Loving You. It was the eighth of 40 #1 songs on the country chart for Twitty – a mark second only to George Strait’s 44 – and his 20th of 97 country chart singles. The song was written by Don Gibson whose version peaked at #7 on the country chart in 1957 and a version by Ray Charles in 1964 hit #1 on both the Hot 100 and Billboard’s soul chart, making I Can’t Stop Loving You one of the few songs to hit #1 on all three major Billboard singles charts.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…work, in itself not hard, becomes so, by being pressed, hour after hour, with unvarying, unrelenting sameness… – Harriet Beecher Stowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The major league record for fewest hits in a doubleheader is held by the Cleveland Indians, who got two hits in a doubleheader against the Boston Red Sox on April 12, 1992. The Indians got no hits in the opener, a game they won and, playing at home, only batted eight times in, and two hits in the nightcap.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What Conway Twitty’s first #1 song on a Billboard chart? – Answer next time!
