The Daily Dose/October 14, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA!: We received our ballot in the mail this week and even though we aren’t on it – for the first time since 2014 – we looked it over anyway, in case we do bother to vote.
Dry, Technical Matter: There are 21 candidates for president of the United States here in Colorado, where potential candidates only need to get 5,000 signatures to get on the ballot. You can also write in the name of your preferred candidate.
Fly In The Ointment: There are a couple of things we found distressing. One was the number of uncontested races. For our money, one is too many and on our small county ballot this year there are four, none of them dog catcher, all races you would expect multiple candidates in: state representative, district attorney, a county commissioner race and mayor of our small town.
Some Philosophy Crap: For a nation conceived in liberty, this is unacceptable. Without candidates and demanding and participating voters, the American experiment will fail.
Oh Yeah: The second thing that was moderately distressing was the sheer number of ballot initiatives to vote for. There are no less than eleven state measures. Good gravy, what do we pay a state legislature for? There’s even a constitutional amendment declaring only citizens can vote, despite the fact federal already dictates that.
The Bottom Line: There is a lot to get through on our ballot this year and, perhaps, there is on yours as well. We can whine about this and we can whine about that here in America, but we can’t whine about who’s in control of our government: we are. The fact our government is a fractured, partisan, bickering mess is our fault, but we can change that. We are going to take the time to sort through everything and make an informed decision and we hope you are, too.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Read Free Fortnight continues.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow doesn’t have his glasses. Again.
I had to do without my glasses for a spell this morning, the second time this week I haven’t had them at the hotel…Recall earlier in the week I’d forgotten them at home…What happened was the gent in 143 came to drop off his laundry to be sent out…I had him fill out the slip but he didn’t have his glasses so I lent him mine, making a mental note to get them back…However, since yours truly can’t remember a goddamn thing anymore I forgot to get them back, despite the fact the mental note was made only a few seconds before, and he walked out wearing them…Fortunately, we had his number and I called him and he returned them.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Radtke’s back in the game with the woman he’s had a crush on.
The big news last night, though, was that Radtke got 15 minutes of face time with his woman, Nong. We had both written this one off, as his initial stalking didn’t produce a date, mainly because he never bothered to ask her out, but Radtke is back in the game, there is no doubt about it.
Radtke’s on his way to a great bachelor career. He’s got the obligatory couple-three lines in the water, finds minor, ticky-tack faults in the dates he does bother to go out on and has a crush on someone completely unattainable. If he can avoid knocking some broad up there is no reason he shouldn’t be completely set in his ways and bitter by the time he’s 40. Rich, X-Ray and myself agree that if you can hold out that long you can sit back and enjoy the rest of your life by yourself.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7: To the bat poles! The Giants and the Jets tag-team to occupy the top spot in the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
1. Gotham City (0-10; NY Giants: lost to Dallas 37-14; NY Jets: lost to Arizona 30-10) – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” this is first time two New York football teams have been winless this late in season since New York Argyles and Staten Island Fairies were both 0-5 in 1977 New York Alternative Lifestyles Football League (NYALFL)…Next Loss: NY Giants: Washington; NY Jets: at Miami
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1066 – The Norman conquest of England begins as an army led by William, Duke of Normandy, defeats the English army, led by King Harold II in what History refers to as the Battle of Hastings. Harold died in the battle, leaving the English army leaderless, though the exact circumstances of his death remain unclear. The invasion had begun the month before and William would be crowned king in December, reigning as William I – also known as William the Conqueror – until 1087.
In 1968 – Jim Hines of the United States becomes the first person to run the 100-meters in under 10 seconds with automatic timing at the Summer Olympics in Mexico City. Hines won the gold medal with a time of 9.95 seconds to break the record of 10.02 seconds established by Charles Greene of the US in the semifinals the day before. Hines’ record would stand until 1983 and the record is now 9.58 seconds, done by Usain Bolt of Jamaica in 2009.
In 1967 – Soul Man by Sam and Dave is at #1 on the Billboard soul chart – then known as the Hot Rhythm and Blues Singles chart – for the first of seven consecutive weeks. It was the sixth of seven Top 10 hits on the soul chart for the duo and their second of two #1 soul songs (Hold On, I’m Comin’, one week, 1966). The song also peaked at #2 on the Hot 100 and remains their biggest pop hit. The song was written by Isaac Hayes and Dave Porter and returned to the Hot 100 in 1978 when a version by The Blues Brothers peaked at #14.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…there is no escaping the marks of life…it is we who select what we will become by the actions we perform.
Deng Ming Dao
365 Tao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The Kentucky Colonels and the Indiana Pacers were the only American Basketball Association teams to remain the same city with the same name for the association’s entire existence, 1967-76.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who broke Jim Hines’ world record in the 100-meters? – Answer next time!
