The Daily Dose/Wednesday, June 17, 2020

The Daily Dose/June 17, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

USA! USA!: It would have been funny if it wasn’t so sad: the president of the United States actually believes there is an AIDS vaccine. We shouldn’t be surprised, though; President Trump also believes the moon is part of Mars. 

Quote That Sucker: Here’s exactly what Trump, speaking Tuesday at the White House, said: 

These are the people – the best, the smartest, the most brilliant anywhere, and they’ve come up with the AIDS vaccine…

Dry, Technical Matter: Now, of course, there are drugs that make the disease manageable, but as the 38,000 Americans that were diagnosed with HIV in 2018 can attest, there is not a vaccine. If there was, they wouldn’t have been diagnosed with HIV. 

Insert Heart Emoji Here: Now, if Trump were a loveable uncle type, we’d all be laughing it off. But Trump isn’t a loveable uncle type, he’s brutish, ignorant, petulant, and he’s been spewing inanities like this every hour on the hour since he announced his candidacy in 2015. 

LOL: What’s as funny as it is tragic, though, is that we are taking it. He earned election to the White House and will run for reelection. Very few are standing up and objecting to the fact the president of the United States is sufficiently ignorant to believe the moon is part of Mars and that an AIDS vaccine exists. 

The Bottom Line: We deserve better than this. We deserve a president who cares, knows enough to get the facts straight. We deserve a president who isn’t a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is a part of Mars and that an AIDS vaccine exists. More than that, we deserve an America that demands better than this at the ballot box. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: For the second consecutive night, Sparrow’s knife proves useful. Today’s Diary.  

The knife was again useful this morning…Recall yesterday I needed it to open a sack of oranges and three boxes of creamers, and tonight I needed it to open a box of Choco-Tacos!!!…I am not making that up…The sundry stand stock was running low and there was a fresh box in the back office freezer…I even removed the top flaps, for easier future access. 

Backstairs at the Monte CarloIt’s a busy night in the hotel, featuring hookers, drugs and a lost digital camera.

We probably should’ve made him come and open the door, but since we weren’t riddled by gunfire as soon as we knocked 77Rick motions that I should use my master key and open the door. As I do so I see him reach for his gun, which sorta makes me want to stop and say “Hey”. I mean, if you’re supervisor is reaching for his gun maybe he should be the one sounding the bugle here and not someone whose main source of protection is a flashlight.

Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today

In 1994 – O.J. Simpson is arrested at his home in Los Angeles following a low-speed vehicle chase for the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown-Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. Ms. Simpson and Goldman had been found murdered outside of her home on June 12 and O.J. Simpson was acquitted of the murders in October 1995, though a civil jury found him liable for both deaths in 1997. 

In 1995 – The New Jersey Devils establish a new NHL record for most road wins in a playoff year defeating the Detroit Red Wings 2-1 in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Devils broke the record of eight that had been done on four other occasions and would extend the to ten road win in Game 2 of the series, which they won in four games. The record has since been tied six times and still stands. 

In 1978 – Andy Gibb as at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of seven consecutive weeks with Shadow Dancing. The song also went to #1 in Brazil and Canada and peaked at #42 in Great Britain. It was the third and final #1 song for Gibb ((Love Is) Thicker Than Water, two weeks, 1978; I Just Want to Be Your Everything, four weeks, 1977) and his third of six Top 10 hits. The song also peaked at #11 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s #1 song of the year, their 11th-biggest of the decade and also ranked 49th on their 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

On the most obvious level, he represents the herculean task the artist has set for himself, one in which he expects to emerge victorious… – Miles Unger, A Life in Six Masterpieces

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The world triple jump record has been set seven times in Mexico, the most of any country. The first time was in 1955, the next five times were at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics and the last time was in 1975. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was Andy Gibb’s biggest hit in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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