The Daily Dose/July 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from our human experience.
Leading Off will return. Nothing’s really going on right now, anyway.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Another guest refuses to ring the bell. Today’s Diary.
Folks, these people live among us…I walk out and with customary grace noted the sign and the dumb broad said she didn’t want to bother me…I wanted to reach out and grab her by the hair, pull her across the desk and bang her head on the floor because the purpose of the &@%#ing bell is to bother me, to let me know someone needs to be served…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: The crew runs into some barf in the hotel.
You run into ralph from time to time in this business and while it doesn’t make me sick, I don’t go looking for it. But I respect Lee’s opinion – as a security professional – so I go and look and holy living fuck, the girl has ralphed – and I am not making this up – three or four solid pink thingies! They are about the size of an average egg roll, shaped like Vienna sausages and are the color of Pepto Bismal.
“No wonder she was crying for help,” I told Lee. “Those had to be like giving birth.”
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However, I hit upon an idea and my instincts, as usual, proved trusty: it was worth something to Mr Paddington, an otherwise respectable sort, to keep me from blabbing his social calendar to anyone who would listen like, for instance, his wife. He saw my very logical point about how giving me some quid each week to keep me mouth shut could be to his advantage and how not giving me some quid each week to keep my mouth shut could be to his disadvantage. My long and quite profitable career in taking money from men so they could have a go in private was underway.
$4.99, a steal. Click on the button.
Note: if you’ve already purchased the Criminals, Courtesans and Constables ebook, or 4Ever & Ever access, don’t click on the button. You’re already in.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1981 – Charles, Prince of Wales, and Lady Diana Spencer are married in St Paul’s Cathedral in London. The ceremony was watched by a worldwide television audience estimated at three-quarters of a billion people and the couple had caused a mild stir when they announced the word ‘obey’ would be eliminated from Diana’s portion of the vows. The marriage ended in divorce in 1996 and produced two children, Prince William and Prince Harry. The two had met in 1977 when Charles was dating Diana’s older sister.
In 2003 – Bill Mueller of the Boston Red Sox becomes the first major league player to hit two grand slam home runs from both sides of the plate in the same game in a 14-7 win over the Texas Rangers. Mueller became the 12th of 13 major league players to hit two grand slams in a game and the feat of doing it from both sides of the plate has not been equaled. Mueller, who finished his eleven-year career with 85 home runs, was betting eighth that night.
In 1989 – Toy Soldiers by Martika is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final consecutive week. It was the first chart single for Martika, her first of four Top 40 hits and two Top 10 songs and remains her only #1 song. Toy Soldiers spent 13 weeks in the Top 40, six weeks in the Top 10 and also went to #1 in New Zealand and peaked at #5 in Great Britain. Martika was born Marta Marrero in southern California.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
He is half done who has already begun. – Horace, Roman poet, 65 BC to 8 BC
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Donna Fargo had two hits on Billboard’s Hot 100: The Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A (#11, 1972) and Funny Face (#5, 1972-73).
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What team has had the most players hit two grand slam home runs? – Answer next time!
