The Daily Dose/September 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HERE WE GO AGAIN: The Democrats are talking impeachment again because President Trump is going to have the nerve to nominate someone to the supreme court to replace the deceased Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Fly In The Ointment: This is as silly as it is petulant and stupid. The president appoints justices to the supreme court and the Senate confirms them and the president can do this anytime he sees fit. Well, presuming there’s a vacancy, of course. That the Democrats are doing anything except keeping their yaps shut merely reinforces the fact our America continues to be a partisan, fractured and bickering mess, incapable of doing anything without yammering at each other.
Dry, Technical Matter: Look, Democrats, you had your moment in the impeachment sun and you frittered it away. Had you put some work in you probably could have come up with a half-dozen or so real charges against Trump, charges that had some meat on them, charges the public could have forced even the Republican-controlled Senate to seriously consider.
Oopsies: But you didn’t. You settled for two half-ass charges simply to get it on the record that President Donald Trump had been impeached. Big wow. In the either-your-for-me-or -against-me America of the 21st-century, it accomplished nothing.
The Bottom Line: Democrats, you are a fiasco right now, giving you something in common with the GOP and the country. You have a GOP president running for reelection who is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, a president who has blood on his hands from his delayed and incompetent response to the coronavirus, a president who thinks the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918 ended World War II. You guys should be naming the score in the polls right now. Instead, Joe Biden has a modest lead.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow’s new passport is in.
There are similarities between this passport and the one the expired in 2004…One, both pics suck…The first one doesn’t look too bad, I guess, because I don’t look like a child molester who needs to fart, but this one is awful…Two, tho I have only spent six of the past 32 years bearded, both pics show me with one…Three, my signature has changed since 1994 and four, the big one: the same pen was used to sign both passports!!!…I am not making that up…It’s the trusty old black Parker Sonnet that is beat up and been thru wash lots of times over the decades.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Lunch is spent in the hotel operator’s office.
Between her own, personal conversation and answering the hotel phone Silvia does not stop talking!
“…and I don’t know what happened after that hotel operator this is Silvia how may I assist you? Of course, a wakeup call for 6:30 Mrs. Parks, you’re all set. Is there anything else I can assist you with? All right, have a pleasant night and then Angelica and Adrian went out tonight thank you for calling the Monte Carlo how may I assist you?…”
The Bottom Ten Presented by COVID-19/NCAA Week 4: With your Bottom Ten in reruns this year, the 2018 Week 4 column is offered with our compliments.
2. New Mexico State (0-4; lost to New Mexico 42-25)
Mitigating Factors: Aggies rock B-10 runner-up spot for second consecutive week, dutifully blowing 14-0 lead as Total Team Effort (TTE) sees Aggies getting outscored 35-3 between end of first, start of fourth quarters…Complete inability run football, stop others from doing same keying B-10 run, as Aggies rank 125th in Rushing Defense (269.8) and 127th in Rushing Offense (64.3).
FunFact: Steady as she goes Aggies also rank 126th in both Scoring Offense and Scoring Defense, losing games by average score of 44.8-to-13.8.
Next Loss: at UTEP
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1993 – An Amtrak train runs off a damaged bridge near the Mobile River in southern Alabama, killing 47 and injuring 103. The bridge had been damaged when a tugboat had inadvertently veered from the river into a bayou and ran into the bridge. The pilot was underway without a compass or charts and due to fog believed he was still on the Mobile River. Despite the damage to the bridge, the rails did not break and the nearest signal showed a green light and the train came steaming onto the bridge about ten minutes after the accident.
In 1936 – The Detroit Tigers establish a new major league for most runs scored in a doubleheader shutout in two wins over the St Louis Browns. The Tigers won the first game 12-0 and the second game 14-0 accumulating 35 hits over the two games while the Browns could muster only eight hits all day and were gracious guests, contributing four errors. Research into whose record the Tigers broke was inconclusive, and the record still stands.
In 1962 – The Four Seasons are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of five consecutive weeks with Sherry. It as the first chart single for the group and the first of three consecutive #1 songs and five overall. The song also went to #1 in Canada, New Zealand and on Billboard’s soul chart, peaked at #8 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s tenth biggest song of the year.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
It is not the first steps but the last ones that are most difficult. – Jean-Francois Steiner, Treblinka
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Martha and the Vandellas’ biggest hit on Billboard’s Hot 100 was Dancing in the Street which spent two weeks at #2 in 1964.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who holds the major league record for fewest hits in a doubleheader? – Answer next time!
