The Daily Dose/June 4, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
YAY…WE THINK: Derek Chauvin, the former police officer who killed George Floyd, had one of his charges upgraded Wednesday, his third-degree murder charge upped to second-degree murder.
Oh Yeah: The three officers who stood by while Floyd was killed were arrested and charged with aiding and abetting Chauvin. As they should have been. Their silence was as deadly as Chaukin’s knee.
Official Daily Dose Policy: We’re on record as advising caution when charging officers in these situations but, perhaps, Murder 2 is doable. It will require the state to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Chauvin killed Floyd while committing another felony.
And You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To More Parties: Minnesota state law is very clear on the matter, with Statute 609.19, Subdivision 2, Section 1 stating, in part:
Whoever does either of the following is guilty of unintentional murder in the second degree and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than 40 years…causes the death of a human being, without intent to effect the death of any person, while committing or attempting to commit a felony offense…
Dry, Technical Matter: We maintain that Manslaughter 2 remains the charge that most accurately covers what happened but nobody wants to talk manslaughter right now, they want to talk murder, utterly understandable in these circumstances and murder might be provable here.
We’ve chronicled instances of prosecutors biting off more than they could chew with Murder 1 charges here in the past. Murder 2 in this instance is, perhaps, doable because it does not involve intent or premeditation but if Chauvin requests a bench trial – and he’s a fool if he doesn’t – the evidence will be heard by an impartial judge and not a jury subject to the whims of human nature.
The Bottom Line: Chauvin, though, needs to be convicted of something or this country is going to burn in a way that will make our current protests look like something out of Mother Goose.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Editor’s Note: Read Free Week continues, with both The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo entries on the house. Enjoy.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has some drivel about trying to eat some cereal at the VSO. Today’s Diary.
I also had trouble eating breakfast…I keep some cereal and milk in the Building Department kitchen next door, the better to keep me away from McDonalds, a tactic currently generating only a marginal success rate…Anyway, the milk was bad, so I headed to the nearest grocery store and bought some and when I get back to the kitchen it turns out it was buttermilk of all things…What an idiot I am…I don’t like buttermilk…Sigh…So I wait till 0900 when the health food store a couple of blocks down the street opens but then at 0830 or so I’m farting around online and I check and discover they’re open right now, so I head over and starvation is staved off.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: It’s a funny, busy night in the hotel in today’s entry, ending with remains one of the funniest episodes I’ve been a part of.
“Are you in the same room?”
He nods solemnly, as if this fact doesn’t particularly please him.
“Can you arrest him?” he asks.
“Sure,” I said, nodding. “Any particular charge?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head dismissively. Then, as if this brilliant idea just occurred to him, “Shoot him!”
I laugh.
“I can’t,” I said. “I don’t have a gun.”
“Do something!” he says, almost hissing. “Put him on the ground. Make him shit!”
Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1975 – California Governor Jerry Brown signs the California Agricultural Labor Relations Act, the first state in the US to grant collective bargaining rights to farmworkers. Previously, assorted and disparate farmworkers had been represented, unofficially and sometimes violently, by both the Teamsters and the United Farm Workers. Farmworkers had been specifically exempted from collective bargaining rights in the 1935 National Labor Relations Act.
In 1968 – Don Drysdale of the Los Angeles Dodgers establishes a new major league record for consecutive shutouts in a 5-0 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates. It was Drysdale’s sixth consecutive shutout, breaking the record of five established by Doc White of the Chicago White Sox in 1904 and earlier he had broken the National League record of four, done on multiple occasions. The record still stands and what would turn out to be a major league record 58 consecutive scoreless innings ended in his next game when he gave up three runs in a win over the Pirates.
In 1955 – Perez Prado is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores Chart – one of several predecessors to the Hot 100 – for the sixth of ten consecutive weeks with Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom White). It was Prado’s first chart single and was his first of two #1 hits on a Billboard pop chart (Patricia, one week, Top 100, Most Played by Jockeys , 1958). Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom White) was the last #1 song before the Rock Era began in July when Bill Haley & His Comets hit #1 with Rock Around The Clock. The song had both French and English lyrics, and an English version by Alan Dale also peaked at #27 the week before.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
..a man does what the situation demands. …we do not have heroes, only people doing what is necessary at the time. – Louis L’Amour, The Lonesome Gods
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Alexei Leonov of the Soviet Union was the first person to walk in space, doing so on March 18, 1965.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was the first song after Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom White) to spend ten weeks at #1 on a Billboard pop chart? – Answer next time!
