The Daily Dose/July 8, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HUT, HUT…DON’T HIKE: The first college conference has canceled its football, heck, its entire fall sports program, with the Ivy League doing so this week.
Now, of course, it is important to note the Ivy League doesn’t make the big bucks off football that the major division schools do, but it’s still important to note: football, and all fall sports, are being deemed unsafe to play by a college conference.
Dry, Technical Matter: This should set a precedent for everyone. Despite our every-hour-on-the-hour blather about our treasured death rate for closed cases dropping markedly the past couple of months, the virus is still wreaking its havoc and it remains unsafe to gather in large numbers generally and without a mask specifically. There are still dangers to be faced and precautions to be taken, so many that a small number of professional players have decided not to play and some pretty big names are thinking about it.
Fly In The Ointment: Plus, let’s be honest, the lack of preparation and long downtime will make for an inferior on the field and on the court. Owners, commissioners and players are plowing ahead merely for the prospect of making some money.
The Bottom Line: Nobody should be playing anything until us fans can safely pay our way in again and, frankly, we’d be surprised if anyone ends up playing anything more competitive than checkers anytime soon. Neither the NBA nor NHL will restart nor will MLB, the NFL or college football will begin.
The Bottom Line II: Blame our government. Our delayed and incompetent response to the coronavirus has caused all of this. Our refusal to wear masks is helping to prolong it.
We don’t think it’s unreasonable to think that had a significant number of Americans been tested and been wearing masks in January, the number of COVID-19 deaths would be a fraction, perhaps even a miniscule amount, of what they are now and sports would have had minimal, if any, disruption. Our government has blood – not to mention missed sports! – on its hands.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: At the hotel, Sparrow uses his new knife. Today’s Diary.
So I could get my knife some work – it’s been on light duty for some reason all week – I brought a fresh box of coffee to the back office coffee room…It was gratuitous because it could have been left for one more day but I was determined…The knife performed flawlessly, as usual, and the remaining coffee packets fit into the new box without overflowing, so it was a good call.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: D-Dawg and Gaylon stand around looking important.
…by the time I make my triumphant entrance everything has more or less quieted down, and, again, I find myself standing around looking authoritative. I am joined in this venture by D-Dawg, who had come in from outside. We stood there looking important, as if we were having an important conversation, when really we were talking about how funny it would be if we fought and pressed charges against each other and I called him a spic and he called me a cracker and it was on.
We swear it, the $2.99 special to read The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo is going to end soon, so click on the button to get in on the laughs today.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1540 – King Henry VIII of England’s marriage to Anne of Cleaves is declared unconsummated and annulled. The two had married in January because Henry desired a political alliance with Anne’s brother, William, who was the leader of German Protestants. Unlike some former wives of Henry VIII, Anne was not executed, but, mainly because she didn’t make a fuss, was given a title, a palace and a castle, among other favors. Henry would marry Catherine Howard later in the month.
In 1877 – The first Wimbledon championships begin outside of London. 22 players entered the men’s singles event, the only tournament conducted until 1884 when men’s doubles and women’s singles were added. The entire first round was played and Julian Marshall became the first player to win a five-set match at Wimbledon, defeating Captain Grimston 3-6, 1-6, 6-2, 6-3, 6-3. Spencer Gore defeated William Marshall in straight sets on July 19th to win the first tournament. Balls back then were made of India-rubber – also known as natural rubber – and covered in flannel.
In 1955 – The Rock Era in American popular music begins when Bill Haley and His Comets are at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the first of eight consecutive weeks with Rock Around the Clock. It was the third of 15 Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song. The song also peaked at #4 on Billboard’s soul chart and spent five weeks at #1 in Great Britain. The song returned to the Top 40 in 1974 and has charted in Britain on three occasions since.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
There I stood at the gate of God…drunk but unafraid. – Don Marquis
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The Police had had five #1 songs in their native Great Britain.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many wives did Henry VIII have and which one produced his successor, Queen Mary I? – Answer next time!
