The Daily Dose/August 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HUT, HUT HIKE: Well, this is a fine mess: some college football conferences have decided not to play, while some are forging ahead with plans for a fall season. Like virtually everything else, there are a couple of ways to look at this.
Leading Off: On the one hand, kudos to those who are still planning to play. The coronavirus still affects a small number of people and college football can probably be played with a minimum number of infections and probably even zero fatalities. Most of those who die are over 45 and most of those were otherwise sick to begin with. College kids in first-class shape who are virtually quarantined are likely to be OK.
Fly In The Ointment: On the other hand, kudos to those conferences that have killed their season. COVID can kill and have other long term, negative effects. And be honest, do you really want to be running a conference that has to defend the inevitable lawsuits that will come from playing and having a player get sick?
Yeah, This Will Work: Some are making noises about playing their season in the spring. That seems fair, make kids play two football seasons in one calendar year. They play the spring season then have only a couple of months to recover from the mental grind and physical beating before strapping it on again. Colleges can plan this all they want, but don’t bet on too many athletes wanting to put themselves through this, especially with those eyeing professional careers.
Yeah, Right: It would be nice if the NCAA was showing some leadership here, though in fairness to them the way they are structured doesn’t really give them a whole lot of authority in this matter. Still, though, we’ve had leaders taking unprecedented actions during this time, and the NCAA could have, too.
The Bottom Line: We have only ourselves to blame for this. Paced by a government that denied and ignored the coronavirus for weeks, America has been reduced to providing knee-jerk reactions to it Had we not, had we provided an immediate and credible response, we’d all be looking forward to kickoff here in a few weeks.
More Bottom Line: We did not get a timely and credible response, of course, but still, had we Americans decided to transcend our government and take some precautions starting in January, everyone would be playing football in a few weeks. But we are as fractured and bickering as our government and we didn’t.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest mpg figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary.
I think I’m thru whining about narrowly missing the 40 mpg mark…Well, no I’m not, but it’s on hiatus, for this week, at least….38+ is fine gas mileage, more than I’ve ever gotten and I am grateful for it…My schedule is so predictable the yellow gas light in the new ride always comes on the drive into the hotel on Tuesday night, at least it has the past few weeks.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: X-Ray and Gaylon – the International Henry Units – to the rescue.
Being International Henry Units we knew immediately, of course, that water coming through the overhead isn’t normal, so we spring into action. I go up to five and there is water spewing out of a hose that is connected to some sort of device maids use to mix cleaning solvents. It’s coming out at a pretty good clip, too, so I grab a fuzzy bathroom mat, use it as a shield because I can’t be bothered to get wet, put it on top of the spigot and turn the water off at the main connection. We get engineering and housekeeping up there to deal with it and all us International Henry Units have to do is stand around and look official, which is our only real talent anyway.
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Criminals, Courtesans and Constables/Chapter 16 – The Row: From Supermax to appeals to the gurney, our hero’s on death row.
I was told to remove me clothes. I was strip-searched for the last time, on the off-chance Pastor Rob had given me an Uzi to stick up me arse. I was given a diaper to put on in case, when, I crapped me pants…Then the warden took a sheet of paper out of a breast pocket, unfolded it, took a deep breath and began reading… It was the order to kill me.
I was led from the cell, the warden in front, Pastor Rob behind me with a hand on me shoulder and screws everywhere else. It was the first time I’d left a cell unbuckled. Immediately we made a right and a couple of steps later we made another right and there it was, the room I would die in.
From throne rooms to this.
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On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1889 – Inventor William Gray of Hartford is granted a US patent for a “coin controlled apparatus for telephones”. The first payphone was installed on the corner of Main Street and Central Row in Hartford, and a blue sign on the side of a building commemorates the spot. Earlier in his career, Gray had invented an inflatable chest protector for baseball catchers.
In 1948 – The Philadelphia Phillies establish a new major league record for most runs scored in the first inning with nobody out in a 12-7 victory over the New York Giants. The Phillies score nine runs before the first out was recorded, getting nine hits and a walk with the Giants tossing in an error before the first out was made on a sacrifice. The Phillies would get ten runs in the inning off of three Giants pitchers. The mark is still the National League record, and the major league record is now ten, done by the Boston Red Sox in 2003.
In 1968 – Summer in the City by the Lovin’ Spoonful is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks. The song was only in its fourth week in the Top 40 and would spend seven weeks in the Top 10, six of those weeks in the Top 5. It was the fifth of seven consecutive Top 10 hits for the group to start their chart career and remains their only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #8 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 11th biggest song of the year.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
It doesn’t matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. – Confucious
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The major league record for most hitters getting base hits in one game by both teams is 24, by the San Francisco Giants and the Los Angeles Dodgers on Sept 19, 1998. That is the extra-innings record, too, done twice.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Approximately how many payphones remain in the US? – Answer next time!
