The Daily Dose/September 20, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. Big Ten Football – Go ahead guys, sacrifice your players and make your millions…It’s you being you…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” your lawyers will be able to fend off lawsuits when unforeseen ailments directly attributable to the COVID they got play your lousy football games start popping up years down the road.
2. USA! USA! – Our country is dying, civility and decorum – never our strong suit – having utterly disappeared from what remains of our collective American experience…America is sick and divided to the point where the 60s now look like a show of unity.
3. Election 2020 – 44 days until election where America – now halfway between the influence it once had and the oblivion that awaits it – heralds to the world and itself whether they’re content with a partisan, fractured, bickering mess of a country they now have or whether they’re reading to make some changes
4. Lauren Daigle – Latest single You Say still at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Songs chart, extending all-time singles chart record for weeks at top to 102 non-consecutive weeks…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters considered trotting out fave “Onward Christian Soldiers never considered hot” line, but ultimately decided to save it for later.
5. President Trump Fact Check – Click here for the latest delusions from the Liar-in-Chief…In the interest of fairness, some modest Joe Biden action is included, too.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Of course, it’s Read Free Sunday. Go ahead, get your laff on, no charge.
The Diary of a Nobody: At the hotel, Sparrow gets to use one of his all-time fave lines.
I was actually in the room where we keep the breakfast stuff and missed her ringing the bell, but I was there shortly thereafter, carrying some stuff.
– Ma’am, I’m sorry to keep you waiting.
– That’s OK. You’re probably busy…
– Nonsense, I’m here to serve you. Please, tell me how I can best do that.I would have said “pray tell me how I can best do that” but we weren’t in Britain…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Some of the guys talk about the recent arrest of an MCSD officer.
Rich, Bi-Bob, White Sox Metzger and I were talking about Jamal’s arrest while walking to our cars. White Sox Metzger was on vacation when this happened and he wondered if the $110 he found was still there and what else the girlfriend might have claimed. I was puzzled but Rich picked right up on it and said yeah, there well could’ve been jewelry and other pawnable stuff claimed as well. White Sox Metzger asked Rich if he would hunt down Jamal for the $500 he lost and Rich said no, it was worth $500 “just to get rid of the little shit.”
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. – Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row. – Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1893 – Charles and Frank Duryea drive the first American-made gasoline-powered automobile in Chicopee, Massachusetts. The brothers had built a one-cylinder gasoline engine and attached it to a former horse buggy and would later become the first US automobile manufacturer when they produced 13 cars. The car is now in an automobile museum in Tallahassee and some sources give the date of this event as Sept 21 or 22.
In 1984 – The San Diego Padres, founded in 1969, earn their first playoff berth in a 5-4 win over the San Francisco Giants. The win gave the Padres the National League Western Division title and eventually finished twelve games in front of the Atlanta Braves and Houston Astros. The Padres would later defeat the Chicago Cubs in the National League Championship Series, before losing to the Detroit Tigers in the World Series.
In 1975 – Tavares is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the only week with It Only Takes a Minute. It was the sixth of seven consecutive soul chart Top 10 songs for the group to start their career and their second of three soul #1 songs. The song also peaked at #10 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and remains their biggest pop hit. A family group formed in 1959, Tavares last hit the Hot 100 in 1982 and their last soul hit was a year later.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Every man is to be respected as an absolute end in himself; and it is a crime against the dignity that belongs to him as a human being, to use him as a mere means for some external purpose. – Immanuel Kant
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The commanders at the Battles of Saratoga were Continental Army Major General Horatio Gates and British Army General John Burgoyne.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who was the MVP of the 1984 National League Championship Series? – Answer next time!
