The Daily Dose/October 17, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HUT, HUT, HIKE: You might think that with COVID-19 nicely throwing the college football season into such disarray the wizards that run the College Football Playoff might be considering expanding their four-team Nick Saban Invitational Playoff. It would make sense. Some teams haven’t even started playing yet and some will play more games than others.
Don’t Be Silly: Of course, they’re not, the idea was actually dismissed a while ago after it was suggested by the step-children in the once-proud Pacific-12 Conference, who probably ran it up the flagpole because it was their only hope of getting their champion invited.
Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We’ve been proclaiming here – more or less every hour on the hour – that it is silly the NCAA does not offer a major division football playoff and it gets sillier by the year. They do it in three other divisions, for Pete’s sake and there’s no reason they can’t do it for the big boys.
Dry, Technical Matter: Not having one is so shortsighted by everyone. A 32-team playoff could begin on Thanksgiving weekend, end on New Year’s Day and would become an American classic faster than you can say “strength of schedule” and it is not reasonable to believe it would not instantly become a license to print money.
The Bottom Line: Look, we love the Cheez-It Bowl as much as you do, but we have never understood the resistance to an NCAA Division I Football Playoff. It would captivate the country for five weeks, with a betting handle that should have everyone who gets a cut achieving and maintaining states of arousal. But college football is like television and government: we’ll continue to get what we tolerate. As long as we continue to accept 6-6 teams playing in frozen, empty baseball stadiums, that is what we will continue to get.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Read Free Fortnight continues for our daily features.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a tough start to his walk.
One, I’d barely stepped onto Maple Street and every damn dog in town started barking…Not only that, when I turned onto South Street a loose dog was actually barking at my feet…Christ!!!…Odds are it’s not rabid and looking to kill, but who the hell knows???…I continue and there are more dogs barking so a block later I turn right to head back to Main Street…For those of you keeping score at home ol’ Sparrow is, of course, a block away from The Shire.
Even walking the one block back to Main Street was fraught with peril, tho, because there are a couple of people pulling out of their driveways and who knows if some resident wasn’t alarmed by the dogs barking and grabbed his gun in order to shoot the guy walking down the street…I don’t need that.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Angelica, Maria and Gaylon discuss why men are such slobs.
Last night I was sitting in PBX with my angels Angelica and Maria when Angelica asks why are guys such slobs? Maria is on the phone, probably with her boyfriend, judging by how curious she seemed to be about my answer.
She should be. I am not all that neat and am a leading authority on this matter. I told them there is a bird called the prothonotary warbler, the male gender of which (and I assume there are other birds with this trait) makes several unused nests, requiring the female to show up and make a real nest.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
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Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1931 – Al Capone, a Chicago mobster, is convicted of income tax evasion in Chicago. Capone was convicted of evading $215,000 in taxes on a little over $1,000,000 over a five-year period and would later be sentenced to 11 years in federal prison. He reported to the federal penitentiary in Atlanta the following May, where it was discovered he had two cases of the clap, in addition to suffering from cocaine withdrawals. Capone was later transferred to Alcatraz and was paroled in 1939.
In 1943 – The Detroit Lions establish a new NFL record for fewest rushing yards in a game in a 7-0 victory over the Chicago Cardinals in a game played in Buffalo. The Lions rushed for minus-53 yards to break the record of minus-33 yards established by the Brooklyn Dodgers two weeks earlier. The Cardinals rushed for 38-yards and the combined total of minus-15 yards established an NFL record for fewest rushing yards in a game by both teams. Both records still stand and the only touchdown of the game came on a 67-yard pass from Harry Hopp to Frank Sinkwich in the third quarter
In 1981 – The Four Tops are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the second and final week with When She Was My Girl. It was the third #1 song on the soul chart for the group and their first since Reach Out I’ll Be There in 1966 and was their 22nd and final soul chart Top 10 hit. The song also went to #11 on Billboard’s Hot 100, their first Top 40 hit since 1973.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Who knows through what door wisdom will walk?
Gore Vidal
Julian
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Porter Waggoner, a country singer who was a partner and mentor to Dolly Parton, was Parton’s inspiration to write I Will Always Love You. She wrote it after she decided to pursue a solo career.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was the Four Tops’ biggest hit on Billboard’s soul chart? – Answer next time!
