The Daily Dose/February 1, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading OFF
Notes from around the human experience…
DRY, TECHNICAL MATTER: From time to time we’ll make notes at the top of the doc we write this feature on for later use. This shouldn’t be news because we often comment on items a day or two after they happen, the better to make fun of them, and at our age if we don’t make notes we might well forget.
RIP: One of our recent notes concerned Kobe Bryant who, of course, died this past Sunday in a helicopter crash, so we put off using the item, which concerned some comments he made about women playing in the NBA. But we found ourselves in desperate need of material today and enough time has passed so writing about Bryant would not be disrespectful.
In the article, Bryant said he believed there were three women he believed could play in the NBA right now and it should be noted Bryant’s daughter Gianna, who died with him, was a very good high school player and Bryant may well have been indulging in some deserved, indirect bragging.
With all deference due Bryant’s basketball acumen, doubtless greater than ours, we don’t think this is true. One, if there were women who were good enough to play in the NBA they’d be playing in the NBA right now. The NBA wouldn’t miss out on that license to print money.
Fly In The Ointment: Two, men are bigger and stronger and faster than women. It’s the way the world is built and to expect women to compete with men in professional basketball is not particularly reasonable. Longtime readers of this feature may recall some research we did into the battle of the sexes a few years ago, checking to see where the NCAA Division I women’s 100-meter champion would rank with the men. As it turned out, the time of the major division women’s division would have qualified her for the finals of the men’s Division III race, though her time would not have gotten her on the medal stand.
Guys Rule: Just for funsies, we checked the numbers from last year’s NCAA track and field championships, in case women have made any startling advances in physiology but they hadn’t. In fact, the women’s major division winning time of 10.75 seconds would not have made it out of the men’s Division III heats.
Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has trouble finding his wallet. Today’s Diary.
The big news is it took 15 minutes to find my wallet this morning…It wasn’t in Pa Sparrow’s old valet where it usually is but this really isn’t that big a deal because invariably it shows up in the back pocket of the last pair of pants I wore…Unfortunately, those pants – the quilted blue jeans – were in the dryer…Crap…I checked both the washer and the dryer, tho, and no wallet…Double crap…I checked the bedroom, around the hamper and it wasn’t there…I checked the kitchen around the washer and dryer and found nothing…Well, that isn’t true…I found several things, none of which were my wallet…Back to the desk…More nothing…Then I wasted time checking places there was no place it could be, like the trash and my backpack before grabbing a flashlight and finding it on the far side of the washer…I’d looked there but apparently I’m blind now without a spotlight…I was glad to find it…Sure, it would’ve been a pain to get a new driver’s license and debit cards, but I’d blown $60 on the wallet and I’m grateful I don’t have to buy a new one.
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On This Date
Great moments in us.
In 1968 – One History’s most iconic photos is taken when Associated Press photographer Eddie Adams captures the shooting of Nguyễn Văn Lém by South Vietnamese National Police Chief Nguyễn Ngọc Loan. The incident occurred on a Saigon street at the start of the Tet Offensive and Loan would later say he was angry at a Viet Cong officer wearing civilian clothes. The photograph won Adams the Pulitzer Prize for Spot News Photography.
In 2015 – The New England Patriots defeat the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl XLIX in Phoenix. Patriots quarterback Tom Brady established Super Bowl records with 37 completions and 13 touchdown passes in a Super Bowl career. The Patriots tied the Dallas Cowboys and Pittsburgh Steelers NFL record with their eighth Super Bowl appearance, a mark they have since extended to 11.
In 1975 – Neil Sedaka is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Laughter in the Rain. It was Sedaka’s second and final #1 song and first since 1962’s Breaking Up is Hard To Do, a figure that does not include an uncredited background vocal performance on Elton John’s 1975 #1 hit Bad Blood. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #15 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 8th biggest song of the year. Laughter in the Rain was the third of a Hot 100 record twelve consecutive #1 songs that spent one week at the top.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I almost never think of my calendar years. I’m forever hiking across the same plateau with no end in sight. – Saul Bellow, Ravelstein
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Edward Heath was the British Prime Minister in 1972. He served from 1970 until 1974.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Neil Sedaka recorded singles in six other languages. What were they? – Answer next time!
