The Daily Dose/Monday, June 22, 2020

Daily Dose/June 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
The very best of the very worst of the week that was. 

YAY TEAM!: As we noted in the Sunday Bottom 5, we’d been wondering, like you probably were, which US senator would take the lead and be the shill favoring pro-NCAA legislation in their most recent imbroglio, giving their athletes a share of money made off their names, images and likenesses, commonly shortened to NIL. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The NCAA is in a box because several states have had the nerve to undercut them by passing assorted, differing laws in this matter. The NCAA is looking to Congress to solve their problem for them with legislation that gives athletes as little as possible while allowing the NCAA to keep as much wealth and power as possible. 

ROTFLMAO: The NCAA is claiming that without federal intervention, college sports as we know them could collapse. Good. It could not happen to a nicer bunch of guys and gals. The NCAA could use a complete collapse of major college football and basketball, both of which remain the cesspools they’ve been for over a century. 

The Bottom Line: The NCAA made this bed by making billions off the sweat of their athletes without sharing any of it, so they can lie in it on their own. Congress has no business getting involved. It’s an internal matter, and Congress should not deprive us of the entertainment value inherent in watching the NCAA squirm their way out of this one. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow buys some readers online. Today’s Diary.   

The only fly in the ointment was my debit card kept getting declined…So I call the bank and the gal looks into it and says she’s getting an expiration date error and I check and it looks good…The card’s information was entered automatically and the expiration date shows 2025 but the month, for some reason, was showing May instead of February, which I didn’t realize until I’d tried to force the transaction thru a couple of more times. 

There was even hilarity when the purchase was being rung up…The total for two glasses was $32, which qualified me for free shipping…But the 15% discount brought it under $30, allowing me to pay for shipping…Fortunately, shipping was less than the discount and I ended up paying a buck or so less.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Twerp tells Gaylon to go and get a date.

In the briefing room after work last night I told Twerp, a former Marine, that I didn’t want any of his shit in the hotel tonight. I wanted his shoes shined to such a high gloss that Chesty Puller himself would achieve and maintain a state of arousal, and, that immediately upon his arrival in the hotel, he should report to me so he can drop and give me 20. 

He told me to go and get a date. 

Friends,

Read Free Fortnight ends Thursday. Click on the button to get 4Ever & Ever access to both The Dairy and Backstairs for only $2.99, a fabulous deal that also ends Thursday, when it goes back up to $5.99.

Best,


On This Date

History’s long march to today

In 1941 – The German army begins its invasion of the Soviet Union with bombings of cities in Soviet-occupied Poland, followed by a land invasion. The Germans got to within 5 miles of Moscow by December but winter set in and that was as far as the Germans got. The offensive resulted in almost 6 million deaths on both sides. 

In 1986 – Diego Maradona of Argentina scores two of soccer’s most famous goals in a 2-1 win over England in the World Cup quarterfinals in Mexico City. The first goal came early in the second half when Maradona and the English goalkeeper both lept for the ball and Maradona got the ball into the net despite the fact he appeared to have used a hand. Four minutes later Maradona took the ball 60 yards through four defenders and faked the goalkeeper for his second goal, a goal referred to as the Goal of the Century. The first goal is referred to as the ‘hand of God’ goal after comments made by Maradonna after the match. He would not confess to using his own hand until 2005. 

In 1963 – Lonesome 7-7203 by Hawkshaw Hawkins is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the fourth and final non-consecutive week. It was the eighth and final country chart single for Hawkins, who had died in March, in the same plane crash that killed Patsy Cline and Cowboy Copas, and remains his only #1 song. The song had first hit #1 on May 4 for one week then returned for two weeks on June 1. Hawkins’ original first name was Harold and he served in the US Army in World War II, fighting in the Battle of the Bulge. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Franz congratulated Albert, who received his congratulations with the air of a man conscious that they were merited. – Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The major league record for most hits in a game is nine, done by Johnny Burnett of Cleveland who went 9-for-11 in an 18-17, 18-inning loss to the Philadelphia A’s. The 33 hits by the Indians established the American League for hits in a game of any length, and the 58 hits established a major league record for hits by both teams in a game of any length, records still stand. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who won the 1986 World Cup? – Answer next time!

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