The Daily Dose/October 23, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…
THIS IS GOING TO BE BORING, ISN’T IT?: One of the things we don’t do too much of here is talk about writing. Our working theory is writing is much like making sausage or giving birth: nobody really wants to hear too many of the details, they only want to enjoy the finished product. However, a couple of things happened this week that you may – or you may not – find interesting.
Oh, Crap: First was Tuesday’s NCAA Bottom Ten. It was, frankly, very funny, as funny a Bottom Ten as we’ve written and we’ve written some funny ones over the years. It was so good we put in our personal hall of fame, a rarity.
Fly In The Ointment: We are not going to tell you the lines we think are funny because we’ve learned over the years that you readers sometimes have tastes that differ from ours: it is hardly unprecedented for lines we think are funny to draw yawns and for you to contact us saying lines we pulled out of our arse at the last-minute are the very last words in humor.
Some Philosophy Crap: Writing something you think is your very best poses challenges because it is as if you are saying everything else you’ve produced is crap. Nothing is further from the truth, though. When we sit down to ply the writer’s trade here we aim to deliver our very best. Which we do. You’re entitled to our very best because if we’re issuing less than that we’re not writing, we’re typing. It’s sort of like running track: sometimes you turn in a personal best, but usually you don’t. Same thing here. We sit down to say what we feel needs to be said and sometimes you’re a bit better than you’ve been before. In any endeavor, this remains one of life’s great prizes.
How Gentle Is The Rain: The other item concerns the popular On This Date feature. The third item is reserved for a song that was #1 on a Billboard chart, usually the Hot 100, but sometimes from a predecessor or the soul or country chart. Billboard charts are referenced because they’ve long been the standard for American charted music. It’s what Casey Kasem based American Top 40 off of for years.
Dry, Technical Matter: Billboard is not the sole source, however, and today we feature the #1 song from Cashbox magazine, which ran their Top 100 chart from 1950-96. The song is a personal favorite that only made the runner-up spot on the Hot 100 and we were in the mood to write about it so sue us.
Today At The Site
It’s Read Free Week! Enjoy both The Diary of a Nobody and The Bottom Ten on the house.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow and Gloria the Head Housekeeper share a laff. Today’s Diary.
I am not a dog person and dogs intuitively know this and Z and I have a relationship best described as “correct”…She loves Tammy and Gloria the Head Housekeeper, tho, going completely ga-ga immediately upon their arrival…Like this morning…Gloria sashays in and Z goes crazy, spinning around and making non-barking noises and generally acting as if Jesus H Christ himself had just wandered in…Gloria’s petting her and calling her “wiggle-butt” and other adorable things which have me beat because the only cute name I have for her his “mutt”…Then Gloria’s asking Z if she wants go back with her to the housekeeping office…Of course, she does…This led to a pretty funny exchange:
Sparrow: “You turn her against me when you two are back there, don’t you…You hold up my picture and…”
Gloria: “ATTACK!!!”I think even Z laffed at that…It was pretty funny.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
The NFL Bottom Ten will run Thursday. Click here to enjoy the Week 9 NCAA Bottom Ten.
Read Free Week won’t last forever! Click here to get in on the laffs. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
In 1983 – Two military barracks in Beirut are attacked with truck bombs. The first explosion was a barracks housing United States Marines and the second, minutes later, at a barracks housing French forces. A total of 307 people died, a figure which includes six civilians and two suicide bombers. US personnel were ordered out of Lebanon, due mainly to eroding support in Congress, the following February.
In 1993 – The Toronto Maple Leafs establish a new NHL record for consecutive wins to start a season with nine, defeating the Tampa Bay Lightning 2-0. The Maple Leafs would extend the record to ten before losing their first game on Oct. 30 to Montreal. Research into whose record they broke was inconclusive, though the record was matched in 2006 by the Buffalo Sabres. The Maple Leafs would finish the season with 43 wins, losing in the Western Conference Finals to the Vancouver Canucks.
In 1965 – The Toys are at #1 on the Cashbox Top 100 – one of several sources that have chronicled American charted music over the years – for their only week with A Lover’s Concerto. It was the first of two chart singles for the Toys and remains their biggest hit. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #5 in Great Britain and later peaked at #2 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and at #4 on their soul chart. The melody was based on the 18th-century keyboard piece Minuet in G major.
Quotebook
…perhaps, among us may be found generous spirits, who do not estimate honor and justice by dollars and cents.
Harried Beecher Stowe
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Texas was a part of Mexico before becoming a republic.
Today’s Stumper
Who wrote Minuet in G major? – Answer next time!
