The Daily Dose/October 29, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Q has a funny line at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
Somehow the subject of my age came up…I forget how, but the kid guessed I was 39…God bless this young man…I told Q, did you hear that, he thinks I’m 39, Q, what do you think of that???…Q said it was plain combat had taken its toll on the kid’s mind and I shot back my birthday is coming up, just file that away when you’re planning what presents you are going to buy me, as thanks for me showing up every night otherwise Q’s pulling some unwanted night audit shifts…The line from Q:
“What do you want me to get you, some prescriptions???”
That made all of us laff, and I probably violated the employee handbook by giving Q the finger, my turn to get a laff.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 10: The race for the ESPNCup, symbolic of Bottom Ten supremacy, rolls on with three (3) 0-8 teams chasing Bottom Ten glory.
Here are some funny lines from The Bottom Ten.
Coaching staff committed to teaching players life skills, giving lessons on stubbornness, going 1-for-6 on fourth down conversions.
Loss to fellow New England school earns UMess John Adams Spitoon – issued to worst team in original 13 colonies.
Fourth-straight loss blamed on multiple unsportsmanlike conduct penalties due to pregame Army Secretary ruling requiring defense – to better prepare for future battles against ISIS – to shoot down all opponents passes with surface-to-air missiles…
Click here to get in on the laffs. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
In 1969 – A message is sent on a computer-to-computer link for the first time when a message sent by geeks at UCLA was sent for and received by some eggheads at Stanford. The first message sent was login and this was actually the second attempt to send a message on the network; the first attempt crashed the system. The system would grow to include the east coast of the United States by the following March and by summer there were 57 computers online. Today hundreds of people use what has since evolved into the “Internet”.
In 1973 – O.J. Simpson of the Buffalo Bills establishes a new NFL record when he carried the ball 39 times in a 23-14 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs. Simpson also slashed his way for 157-yards and two touchdowns. The record was broken the following season by Lydell Mitchell of the Baltimore Colts with 40 carries and the current record is 45 carries by Jamie Morris of the Washington Redskins in 1988. In this game Simpson also tied Jim Brown’s NFL mark of rushing for 1,000 yards in the first seven games of a season. This record still stands with Simpson accomplishing the feat again in 1975 and it was equaled by Terrell Davis in 1998.
In 1966 – ? and the Mysterians are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for their only week with 96 Tears. The group had three more chart singles but only one made the Top 40 and 96 Tears remains their biggest chart single. The song has been covered many times, with some versions making the soul or dance chart, but only Big Maybelle’s version hit the Hot 100, peaking at #96 in 1967.
Quotebook
It appeared almost as though he hoped the beverage was poisoned, and that he sought death to deliver him from a duty which demanded of him something which was more difficult of accomplishment than it would be to die.
Alexandre Dumas
The Count of Monte Cristo
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Hank Snow had seven #1 songs on Billboard country charts.
Today’s Stumper
How many rushing yards did OJ Simpson have during the 1973 season? – Answer next time!