The Daily Dose/December 22, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…
1. Nancy Pelosi – Your work was done when the House voted to impeach President Trump. Making delivery of the articles to the Senate contingent on the Senate making an agreement with you is nonsense. You are not in a position to demand anything.
2. Mitch McConnell – Why are you even bothering talking to Senate Democrats about how to conduct President Trump’s trial? You’re already on record that you’re going to acquit him, just ram through whatever the hell you want and get it over with.
3. United States of America – Celebrated 30 years of continuous, uninterrupted warfare this week…Since violence merely begets violence, it should be no surprise we have violent citizens and a violent world…We are entitled to see the world produced by an America at peace.
4. American Electorate – Has 317 days until it heralds to the world, and itself, whether it will continue to tolerate a partisan, fractured and bickering government or whether it is ready to make some changes…They are on the clock, too, because if they don’t do something soon America will collapse, perhaps before this half-century is out.
5. College Football Bowl Games – Yeah, History was/is demanding to see if Buffalo could be Charlotte in the Bahamas, or if Washington State can beat some airdale officer candidates in game played in a baseball stadium and named after a snack cracker…Had a 32-team NCAA Division I Football Playoff begun on Thanksgiving weekend, the national semifinals would have been played yesterday.
Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: The Wife is off to attend to her sister for a couple of weeks. Today’s Diary.
This brings up the question of whether or not to purchase and make the Christmas prime rib…I was actually at the store Friday afternoon – in the meat department inspecting prime ribs – after getting off from the VSO when The Wife, with Movie of the Week timing, called to warn me not to buy anything…This will be far from the first time I’ve fended for myself for a holiday dinner – tho the first in many years – and I usually don’t like to expend a whole hell of a lot of effort, but boy, prime rib is 1) easy enuff to make so that I don’t even screw it up and, 2) really good and I’ve been looking forward to our Christmas prime rib for weeks.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
In 1807 – The Embargo Act is passed by the United States Congress and signed by President Thomas Jefferson, in response to violations of American neutrality at sea during the Napoleonic Wars between France and Great Britain. The embargo was a disaster in all parts of the United States while Britain found new markets for its goods and also benefited from the lack of American competition. It was repealed in March 1809.
In 1996 – Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Kordell Steward establishes a new NFL record for longest touchdown run by a quarterback, an 80-yard run in the second quarter of an 18-14 loss to the Carolina Panthers. The record is now held by Tyrelle Pryor, who had a 93-yard touchdown run for the Oakland Raiders in 2013.
In 1958 – The Chipmunks with David Seville are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of four consecutive weeks with The Chipmunk Song. Earlier in the year Seville had hit #1 without the Chipmunks with a song called Witch Doctor. The song would reappear in the Top 40 in both January and December of 1962, spending a week on the chart both times. It was the last Christmas song to top the Hot 100 until Mariah Carey hit #1 with All I Want For Christmas Is You on the Hot 100 chart that was issued yesterday.
Quotebook
In this troublesome world, we are never quite satisfied. – Abraham Lincoln
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The longest word ever used in a crossword puzzle is 58 letters, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, a town in southeast Wales.
Today’s Stumper
What was David Seville’s real name? – Answer next time!
