The Daily Dose/March 27, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
The Sunday Bottom 5 7
A ranking of some things.
1. Russian Invasion Of Ukraine – Russian dictator Vladimir Putin getting rave reviews for strong Donald Trump impression as lies offered as justification for invasion of Ukraine getting more and more laughs from world…Or would get laughs if invasion wasn’t utterly unjustified, savage, and tragic, not unlike US invasion of Iraq.
2. Vladimir Putin – Some in international community already gathering evidence for war crimes tribunal, though SB5 pollsters “strongly suspect” it will be several years before Putin actually led before firing squad.
3. Donald Trump – You know, folks, would you tolerate an acquaintance who always lied to you, grabbed your wife and daughter by the pussy, and who was dumb enough to believe Colorado bordered Mexico???…We wouldn’t, either, so why do you tolerate this in a presidential candidate???…Which one of these elements continues to earn your support???
4. MLB – Get out the circus tent, guys…Not only is designated runner returning for extra innings in 2022, but MLB – in effort to keep Shohei Ohtani in game as long as possible – passed special rule to allow pitchers to remain in game as DH after leaving the mound.
5. NCAA Tournament Officiating – There’s no shortage of whining this year, though SB5 pollsters do point out that two-thirds of new high school officials don’t make it to Year 3, which means the gene pool for major-college officiating has shrunk by two-thirds over the years, meaning there are fewer and fewer good officials out there.
6. College Basketball – SB5 pollsters recently took in their first collegiate game in years and noticed the absence of several past basketball stalwarts: namely low-post play, full-court press, mid-range jumpers, defense, (at least as taught at John Wooden Basketball Camp), decent passing, offensive rebounding, fast breaks…All anyone wants to do now is dunk and shoot threes.
7. Tennessee Titans – NFL team fires opening salvo in quest to have government(s) pay for new stadium, noting upgrades would cost as much as new facility, at least according to their study…SB5 pollsters “pretty sure” they’re not only ones wondering why stadium was built on the cheap and in need of significant overhaul after only two decades.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow whines about only getting twelve hours of sleep. Today’s Diary.
Yours truly would like to proclaim himself completely recovered from having been up for 42 strait hours earlier in the week, but he’s not…I was yawning within a few minutes of getting up and this continued until getting some coffee consumed…Still tho, 12 hours down is 12 hours down and is a huge step forward in getting back to normal.
———
Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
History’s long march.
In 1794 – President George Washington signs the Naval Act of 1794 which, among other things, authorized the first six frigates of the present-day US Navy. Progress was slow and costs exceeded initial estimates, establishing a naval tradition followed to this day. The first frigates were delivered in 1797 and Constitution remains in commissioned naval service, moored at the Boston Navy Yard, and remains the oldest commissioned warship in the world still afloat.
In 1939 – The Oregon Ducks, then known as the Webfoots, win the first NCAA basketball championship, defeating Ohio State 46-33 at Northwestern University north of Chicago. The eight-team tournament had begun with regionals held in San Francisco and Philadelphia, with Oregon defeating Oklahoma and Ohio State beating Villanova. It remains the only title game for Oregon and was the first of five title game appearances for the Buckeyes, who won their only championship in 1960.
In 1982 – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of seven consecutive weeks with I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll. The song went to #1 in six other countries, including South Africa and The Netherlands, peaked at #4 in Great Britain, was Billboard’s third-biggest song of the year, and ranked 72nd on its 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. It was the first of nine chart singles for the group, their first of three Top 10 hits and remains their only #1 song.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
[I will] turn from war to peace and politics. If, that is, I get through all right. I think myself I shall…Let us laugh at fate. It might please her.
Winston Churchill
Letter to mother, 1897
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
Hall and Oates’ biggest song on Billboard’s soul chart was I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do), which spent one week at #1 in January 1982.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What is the US Navy’s second-oldest commissioned ship? – Answer next time!