The Daily Dose/September 26, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. COVID-19 – Dear Non-Vaxxers: by looking in the mirror you can see the biggest hold-up to putting COVID in our country’s rearview mirror…Get vaccinated, dammit…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” 1,900 COVID deaths a day is “like, dude, so 1,899 more than we should be having”.
2. Lauren Daigle – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters issuing fond farewell to singer whose song “You Say” established a new Billboard all-chart record with 129 non-consecutive weeks at #1 on Hot Christian Singles chart, an extraordinary figure…Spokesman for still-envious Morman Tabernacle Choir says ensemble putting finishing touches on hip-hop versions of Te Deum Laudamus, Nicene Creed to appeal to hip, with-it Lutherans.
3. Donald Trump Supporters – The 3-hole staple, former president remains a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” asking Trump supporters which of these elements continues to solidify their support still reasonable question.
4. CBSSports.com – Hey guys, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” that if your big story is power rankings for NFL practice squads, there is officially now not enough news to fill available space…Inquire within for good rates for funny, weekly, Bottom Ten feature.
5. President Joe Biden Fact Check – Psych!!!…President Biden so more or less sticking to facts AP has shut down Fact Check Desk – a 24/7 operation during the Trump Administration…Good news, though, is fact-checker layoffs hardly as massive as layoffs on Jan 21, which resulted in unemployment rate spiking to 21%.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
It’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has some office supply news from the hotel. Today’s Diary.
The 3-hole punch war – Sparrow against the unknown imbecile who occasionally moves it – is back on…
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1789 – President of the United States George Washington appoints Thomas Jefferson the first secretary of state. Per his own personal policy Jefferson – who had just returned from a tour as minister to France – whined about the time the job would take him away from his cherished Monticello and didn’t take office until the following March. Jefferson spent most of his time bickering with Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton, arguments Jefferson usually lost. Jefferson served until 1793.
In 1908 – Ed Reulbach of the Chicago Cubs establishes a new major league record for fewest runs given up in a doubleheader in 5-0 and 3-0 victories over the Brooklyn Superbas, later the Dodgers. Reulbach broke the record of two runs which had been done on four other occasions and the feat has not been matched. Reulbach allowed nine hits, struck out eleven and walked two. The wins led to an anomaly in the standings: due to the fact the Cubs and New York Giants had played a different number of games, the Cubs were in second place, a half-game in front of the first-place Giants, who had a better winning percentage.
In 1960 – Connie Francis is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own. It was the ninth of 16 Top 10 hits on the Hot 100 for Francis and her second of three #1s. The song also peaked at #3 in Great Britain, at #11 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s 17th-biggest song of the year. In a dull historical note, Francis was briefly married to a man who coached a baseball team whose games the writer of this feature used to umpire.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The real struggle is with a small professional elite totally split off from the nation, pursuing wealth through wars that they invent and justify and resonate for others to die in.
Gore Vidal
The Golden Age
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
Four amendments to the US Constitution are still pending. Two other proposed amendments – the Equal Rights Amendment and one concerning voting rights for District of Columbia residents – had their ratification periods expire.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who holds the major league record for pitching complete games in the most doubleheaders? – Answer next time!
