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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Like few other times in recent history, Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere have a lot on their plates as the race for The Dan Henning trophy – the most coveted trophy in sports – approaches the half-way mark.
First, they are preparing for a possible 0-16 run by the Jets. Second, you will forgive them for being emotional over the return of both the Jaguars and the Bengals to their natural habitat, the Bottom Ten medal stand, with both looking to shed “worst team never to win Bottom Ten title” moniker.
This week’s mess as the nags plod up the backstretch:
1. New York Jets (0-7; lost to Buffalo 18-10) – Jets looking inward this week to see if they have what it takes to harness momentum from 0-7 start into really big road loss to defending Super Bowl champions…Jets 66th NFL team to start season 0-7…Next Loss: at Kansas City
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6; lost to) – Coaching staff hell-bent on B-10 title still scratching heads over how they managed to beat Colts in opener…While owner Ghengis Khan officially “pleased” with B-1o medal stand spot, he’s still threatening beheadings if team isn’t #1 by Muslim high holidays…Next Loss: Houston (11/8)
3. Cincinnati Bengals (1-5-1; lost to Cleveland 37-34) – Bengals showing grit that leads straight to B-10 glory, blowing fourth-quarter leads in five (5) games in 2020, including two (2) leads in latest thriller…Only win came against Jaguars…Next Loss: Tennessee
4. Houston Texans (1-6; lost to Green Bay 25-20) – Strong start key for Texans, who break out 21-0 2nd-quarter deficit…Texans need big road loss to Jaguars in two weeks to get back in B-10 medal stand hunt…Next Loss: at Jacksonville (11/8)
5. New York Giants (1-6; lost to Philadelphia 22-21) – Giants back on losing schneid with type of heartbreaking road loss that sets great tone for B-10 stretch run…Giants defense levels up, blowing 12-point fourth-quarter lead, while offense chips in key fumble …Next Loss: Tampa Bay
6. Dallas Cowboys (2-5; lost to Washington 25-3) – Offense in top form, producing safety and interception in first half, while keeping defense on field for 36 minutes…Cowboys set for strong remainder of season, as head coach has completely lost locker room, always key to B-10 glory…Next Loss: at Philadelphia
7. NFC East (7-20-1) – B-10 staffers huddling up thinking of making NFC East title sponsor of weekly coveted B-10 Conference of the Week award…Only depth of 2020 B-10 field keeping NFC East from landing on B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: With COVID restrictions in place, NFL unable to farm division champion out to small college playoffs.
8. Atlanta Falcons (1-6; lost to Detroit 23-22) – Another team rebounding from heartbreaking win last week, Falcons looking forward to reestablishing B-10 medal stand street cred in prime time..Next Loss: at Carolina (10/29)
9. NFL – League still foisting some of its worst football ever on general public, with 13 teams currently possessing two (2) or fewer (fewer) wins, the most since there were the same number of losers in 2006.
10. New England Patriots (2-4; lost to San Francisco 33-6) – It’s tough to cross country and win in NFL, but it’s usually not this tough, as offense produces four (4) interceptions, defense produces 23-3 halftime deficit…Next Loss: at Buffalo
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Entire NFC East schedule
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: New York Jets at Kansas City
Looking Ahead: Texas at Jacksonville (11/8)
