The Bottom Ten is free this year.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
With Louisiana-Monroe fixin’ to run the table, Vanderbilt returning this week and Rice back – not to mention the MAC kicking off this week – the race for the ESPNCup – symbolic of NCAA Bottom Ten supremacy – might well be the tightest ever.
And welcome back to the Big Ten! After sensibly deciding to expose their players to whatever long-term health problems COVID offers, conference shows commitment to Bottom Ten excellence by placing no less than three (3) teams in Week 9 survey.
This week’s mess:
1. Penn State (0-1; lost to Indiana 36-35 OT)
Mitigating Factors: Nittany Lions ecstatic after only second loss ever to generally lousy Hoosiers produces first B-10 #1 ranking…Nittany Lions show mettle that tends to lead straight to the B-10 medal stand after blowing two leads, including one with 22 seconds left in fourth quarter…Before this thriller, Penn State had not lost to team that finished/will finish season with losing record since doing it twice in 2014.
FunFact: B-10 pollsters still “pretty sure” Penn State should not be allowed to make money off of major division collegiate athletics following Sandusky child abuse scandal.
Next Loss: Ohio State
2. Louisiana-Monroe (0-6; lost to South Alabama 38-14)
Mitigating Factors: Warhawk fan(s) protest losing B-10 top spot after such a convincing loss, but withdraw it after seeing it was to Penn State…Offense shows strong early interest, allowing interception return for touchdown on opening drive…Current seven (7)-game skid 2nd-best in nation amongst teams that have played more than one game.
On The Road Again: Team so bad for school morale, Student Union forcing team to play mostly road games this year, and this Saturday’s game is next-to-last home game of season.
Next Loss: Appalachian State
3. Kansas (0-5; lost to Kansas State 55-14)
Mitigating Factors: Jayhawks never in this one, as Total Team Effort (TTE) see team trailing 20-0 before defense even gives up a touchdown…With 9th-straight loss, Jayhawks retain Interim Continental Cup – issued to team with longest losing streak amongst teams that have actually played a game…B-10 pollsters “strongly suspect” Jayhawks will lose trophy once MAC begins play this week.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is Bottom Ten Glory: Jayhawks 0-5 for first time since revered 2015 squad won B-10 title by starting, ending season 0-12..
Next Loss: Iowa State
4. Rice (0-1; lost to Middle Tennessee 40-34 2OT)
Mitigating Factors: Owls back in natural habitat – the upper half of B-10 survey – following latest season-opening double-overtime loss…Defense stiffens at right time, allowing game-tying field goal as regulation ended…B-10 gods smiling on Owls, as chance to win game in overtime blown on classic missed field goal that hits upright, crossbar, other upright, crossbar again before falling wrong way off crossbar.
Numbers Racket: Despite ending 2019 on three (3)-game win skid, Owls have still lost 45 of 55.
Next Loss: at Southern Mississippi
5. South Florida (0-5; lost to Tulsa 42-13)
Mitigating Factors: Annual Fight Cancer home game this year directing proceeds to fight cancer that is punting game, which is netting only a bit more than 90 feet per attempt in 2020…With only win coming in opener, Bulls can claim no less than share of Tostitos Plaque – issued to team with longest losing streak in season that actually includes win – by losing out.
FunFact: Current five (5)-game skid best amongst teams based in south Florida.
Next Loss: at Memphis (11/7)
6. Florida International (0-3; lost to Jacksonville State 19-10)
Mitigating Factors: Thinking game was being played under experimental home team wins if tied 3-3 after 1st-quarter rule, Panthers call off dogs for final 45 minutes…Balanced offense getting smiley faces on playbook after getting three (3) rushing first downs, three (3) passing first down.
FunFact: Current five (5)-game skid best amongst teams based in south Florida.
Next Loss: Marshall
7. Big Ten
Mitigating Factors: Only one (1) week in already Big Ten (10) has one (1) weekly, coveted B-10 Conference of the Week under their belts…Members of MAC – limbering up for their own return this week – looking on in awe as no less than 40 percent of Week 9 survey made up of either Big ten conference or its teams.
FunFact: Conference already manning up with strong .500 conference play mark this past week.
8. Maryland (0-1; lost to Northwestern 43-3)
Mitigating Factors: Terrapins show no rust from long layoff with 8th-straight loss…Maryland shows cursory early interest with 3-0 lead, before realizing what’s at stake in short, COVID-reduced season and getting blown out 43-0 rest of the way. ..Offense recovers from opening field goal with three (3) interceptions, fumble, five (5) punts the rest of the way.
FunFact: Defense clutch, too, surrendering only three (3) punts all afternoon.
Next Loss: Minnesota
9. Nebraska (0-1; lost to Ohio State 52-17)
Mitigating Factors: Former national power quickly gaining B-10 sea legs, easily overcoming 1st-quarter lead and 2nd-quarter tie, mustering two (2) second-half fumbles, one (1) of which produced Buckeye touchdown…Current two (2)-game skid best since four (4)-game losing streak in 2019.
FunFact: Husker fan(s) pining for B-10 glory cautiously optimistic, as team looking for fourth consecutive losing season for first time since iconic 1956-61 teams produced six (6) straight losing campaigns.
Next Loss: Wisconsin
10. Middle Tennessee (2-5; defeated Rice 40-34 2OT)
Mitigating Factors: Blue Raiders fall from B-10 medal stand following loss that was there for the taking, winning only after Rice field goal bounced off crossbar, press box, taquito stand before falling no good…With winning two (2) of last three (3) games by total of eight (8) points – and with Charlotte still remaining – Middle Tennessee close to being left to wonder what might have been in 2020.
FunFact: With only wins coming against Florida International, Rice – teams also ranked in Week 9 survey – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” they’ll screw up awarding whatever strength of schedule point Blue Raiders might be entitled to.
Next Loss: Charlotte (11/7)
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Rice at Southern Mississippi
Power 5 Thriller Of The Week: Ohio State at Penn State
Another Big Ten Winner: Wisconsin at Nebraska
