The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 2 – The Interregnum Poll
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Here we go: the Week 2 Bottom Ten and the world-famous Interregnum Poll, necessitated by the fact the NFL regular season still hasn’t started.
It’s an American classic, of course, featuring the usual witless social commentary you’ve come to tolerate over the years, plus the Jim Hanifan Memorial Medallion – symbolic of NFL preseason ineptitude – is awarded, too.
This week’s mess, as the nags prepare to enter the starting gate in the quest for The Dan Henning Trophy:
1. USA! USA! – One hundred years from now, all new people – including Americans, if there are any left – will look back and see this is the era when America – seven (7) decades into TV being the focal point of American life – collectively said screw it and began preferring appeasement over accomplishment.
2. Donald Trump – A man of no moral or intellectual substance, just like the GOP he leads and the country he wants to lead again…He remains a witless blatherskite who lies, grabs women by the pussy, and believes the moon is part of Mars…Us Americans are OK with this, though.
3. American Electorate – Another presidential election, another opportunity to reject the status quo and give ourselves a country with a future, and another opportunity that will probably be squandered.
4. AFC North – Noted NFL division takes Jim Hanifan Memorial Medallion – symbolic of NFL preseason ineptitude, with B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” division first ever to have three (3) winless teams.
5. American Media – A media paced by Walter Cronkite and Woodward & Bernstein would’ve had Trump out of the 2016 race before the primaries…Trump, however, means ratings and clicks, so today’s media ushered into the dead center of American life…Despite ignorance, impeachments, indictments, and convictions, he is still there.
6. Kamala Harris – Someone else of no particular substance, she still earns official endorsement of B-10 pollsters simply because she is not Donald Trump, which B-10 pollsters “strongly suspect” shows how far this country has fallen.
7. Israel/Hamas War – Dear Israel: You long ago established tactical and military superiority over your enemy, and your continued slaughter of civilians constitutes genocide…There are atrocities on both sides of this war, of course, and this is merely the latest.
8. College Football – Every element – players, coaches, teams, conferences, networks – now out to get every last possible dollar, a wonderful lesson for both college athletes and the general public…This isn’t a bulletin, either: the first collegiate event – the 1852 Harvard/Yale regatta – was held at a resort looking to drum up publicity with ringers on both sides.
9. NFL Overtime – Despite being halfway through the third decade of the 21st century, NFL still can’t guarantee that every game will have a winner…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” this won’t get solved until NFL’s sportsbook partners really start whining about it.
10. Chicago Cubs – An Intereggnum Poll staple for years, Cubs already safely out of divisional title race and darn near out of the wild card race, despite there being three (3) wild card spots…Have still only won one (1) World Series title since 1908.
Opening Week Clash of the Titans: Seattle at Denver
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Washington at Tampa Bay
