The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
It’s the toughest of calls for your Bottom Ten pollsters: do you give the top spot in the race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten excellence – to a four (4)-win team that is playing its worst football of the year, or do you give it to a deserving three (3) win team?
Rest assured your B-10 pollster’s bar tabs got a significant and proper workout before the Chicago Bears – losers of ten (10) straight – were awarded the top spot.
This week’s mess, as the nags limp toward the finish line:
1. Chicago Bears (4-12; lost to Seattle 6-3) – It’s hard for a four (4)-win team to top the B-10, but when your last win came two (2) weeks before Election Day, B-10 pollsters find crowing Midgets of Midway for penultimate week top honors relatively easy…Next Loss: at Green Bay
2. New England Patriots (3-13; lost to LA Chargers 40-7) -With one (1) of their wins coming against Bears, Patriots lose out on key B-10 tie-breaker…Patriots have lost six (6) straight for second time in 2024, showing long-haul consistency that tends to lead straight to B-10 glory…Next Loss: Buffalo
3. Tennessee Titans (3-13; lost to Jacksonville 20-13) – Clutch loss to lousy Jaguars not only earns Titans season sweep over fellow B-10 perennials but also coveted spot on B-10 medal stand, though they will need help to earn third B-10 title……Next Loss: Houston
4. Cleveland Browns (3-13; lost to Cincinnati 24-6) – Browns lose tiebreaker to Titans for final, coveted B-10 medal stand spot with two (2) wins against teams still in playoff hunt…Another of 2024’s consistent teams, Browns have lost five (5) straight for second time this season…Next Loss: at Baltimore
5. Seattle at Chicago – Perhaps final B-10 Game of the Year nominee, Seahawks, Bears captivate Amazon streamers looking for bargains on underwear as every drive – all 18 of them – end in either some sort of kick or a turnover…15 drives thrill audiences by featuring either one (1) or zero (0) first downs.
6. New York Giants (3-13; defeated Indianapolis 45-33) – B-10 pollsters also wondering what in the hell got into Giants this week, as B-10 title chances blown as Colts snap Giants’ ten (10)-game skid…Battle with Jets for Ed Koch Kup – symbolic of Gotham football lousiness – could come down to strength of schedule points…Next Loss: at Philadelphia
7. New York Jets (4-12; lost to Buffalo 40-14) – Jets fan(s) everywhere kicking themselves as only starting season winning two (2) out of three (3) has kept them from 2024 B-10 glory…Battle with Giants for Ed Koch Kup – symbolic of Gotham football lousiness – could come down to strength of schedule points…Next Loss: Miami
8. NFC South (0-0; lost to) – It’s all over but the losing in the race for the coveted Pete Rozelle Award, issued to the NFL’s worst division, with the NFC South threatening to make a mockery of the race – never particularly easy to do in the B-10 – with yet another weekly honor.
9. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-12; defeated Tennessee 20-13) – Second win over Titans in a month ends Jaguars B-10 medal stand hopes, as only emergencyUN resolution prevents owner Genghis Khan from beheading coaching staff for failing to bring home B-10 title…Next Loss: at Indianapolis
10. Carolina Panthers (4-12; lost to Tampa Bay 48-14) – Panthers quest for B-10 title repeat nixed, but a loss this week would get them an attention-getting six (6) losses in last seven (7) games…Next Loss: at Atlanta
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Jacksonville at Indianapolis
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Chicago at Green Bay
