The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 2
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
It’s barely Labor Day and already there are two (2) 0-2 teams tantalizing Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere, as the race for the ESPN Cup -msymbolic of collegiate Bottom Ten excellence – is already the most competitive in years.
And already the cream is starting to rise: defending champion Kent State is 0-1, New Mexico and Florida State are 0-2, and Rice is giving long-time Bottom Ten fans warm feelings with a #10 appearance this week.
This week’s imbroglio:
Editor’s Note: due to time constraints, this week’s NCAA survey has adopted the NFL Bottom Ten’s format.
1. New Mexico (0-2; lost to 61-39) – Despite having strong B-10 presence over the years, New Mexico off to just third 0-2 start since 2014…Lobo fan(s) hoping offense – currently averaging robust 35.0 points per game – doesn’t end up costing team B-10 title by outsourcing defense at some point this year…Next Loss: at Auburn (9/14)
2. Kent State (0-1; lost to Pitt 55-24) – Defending B-10 champion’s current, hot ten (10)-game losing streak best in nation…Loss to lower level this week will set strong tone heading into annual minefield of MAC play…Next Loss: St Francis
3. Florida State (0-2; lost to Boston College 28-13) – Seminoles are dead center of B-10’s patented TitleTrak radar after third 0-2 start this decade…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” no team has ever gone from a 13-0 regular season to an 0-12 one, but…Next Loss: Memphis
4. Florida (0-1; lost to Miami, Florida 41-17) – Current six (6)-game losing streak second best in country and first since 2013 stalwarts did it…Gators need loss this week to lower level school to really establish 2024 B-10 street cred…Next Loss: Samford
5. Fort Lewis (0-1; lost to William Jewell 35-20) – D-II Skyhawks retain Continental Cup – issued to team with longest all-division losing streak in NATO – becoming fourth D-II team to lose at least 40 consecutive games…Next Loss: Arizona Christian
6. UMess (0-1; lost to Eastern Michigan 28-14) – Minutemen avoid last season’s catastrophic 1-0 start with dutiful home loss…Though early, UMess fan(s) fretting over fact team only ranks 100th or worse in only two (2) major NCAA stat categories…Next Loss: at Toledo
7. Mountain West Conference (3-6) – Though 3-6 non-conference mark not worst in town – hi there MAC and C-USA! – MWC gets coveted Conference of the Week nod thanks to having loss to lower-level team…Conference insiders, however, boldly predicting conference will rebound for strong .500 conference play mark. 8.
8. Florida International (0-1; lost to Indiana 31-7) – Once and probably future B-10 champions toss hat in ring for 2024 B-10 race with morale-boosting road loss to Power 4 team…Offense already ranking Next-To-Dead-Last in Total Offense (182.0 ypg)…Next Loss: Central Michigan
9. Georgia Southern (0-1; lost to Boise State 56-45) – Current six (6)-game skid tied for second best in country…Defense key to early B-10 success, ranking Dead Last in Rushing “Defense” (371 ypg) and Alleged Total “Defense” (651 ypg)…Next Loss: at Nevada
10. Rice (0-1; lost to Sam Houston 34-14) – Owls – never too far away from B-10 conversation – anchor Week 2 survey following first consecutive bowl game appearances since 2013-14…Losses to both Army, Navy in 2024 could see Owls contend for Sgt Bilko Trophy – usually symbolic of service academy lousiness…Next Loss: Texas Southern
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Texas Southern at Rice
UMess Thriller of the Week: UMess at Toledo
