Get out your Visa cards because this is the last Bottom Ten of the season that is on the house.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 3
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Already the race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten morbidity – is in midseason form.
– Strong AFC South showing? Check.
– Defending Bottom Ten champions showing strong, early interest? Check.
– A surprise team or two? Check and double-check.
There’s no rest for the weary, though, with Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere feasting this week on a huge AFC South intra-divisional matchup and the surprising Chargers visiting always-tough Tennessee.
This week’s imbroglio, as the nags stumble out of the starting gate:
1. Chicago Bears (0-1; lost to Green Bay 38-20) – Defending B-10 champions picking up right where they left off, extending NFL-best losing streak to eleven (11) games, their best ever…Bears trailed by four (4) at half before defense shows strong finishing kick in second half…Next Loss: at Tampa Bay
2. New York Giants (0-1; lost to Dallas 40-0) – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” no team has ever replaced Super Bowl hype with delusions of B-10 grandeur any quicker than 2023 Giants as blowout national TV loss serves notice it’s B-10 medal stand or bust for Giants in 2023…Next Loss: at Arizona
3. Indianapolis Colts (0-1; lost to Jacksonville 31-21) – Though it’s only Week 1, Colts and B-10 fan(s) everywhere know how important having early loss in hand to division rival is in long quest for B-10 glory. …Next Loss: at Houston
4. Los Angeles Chargers (0-1; lost to Miami 36-34) – It’s not easy to have your opponent fly cross country and lose in the NFL, but Chargers obliging hosts, snatching defeat from jaws of victory by giving up late touchdown…LA can establish solid B-10 street cred with loss this week…Next Loss: at Tennessee
5. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-1; lost to San Francisco 30-7) – It’s not easy to have opponents fly cross-country and beat you in NFL, but Steelers obliging hosts in blowout loss that has made B-10 fan(s) everywhere stand up and take notice…Big opportunity for increased B-10 glory this week…Next Loss: Cleveland
6. AFC South (1-3) – Defending Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s lousiest division – laureates, AFC South looking to go wire-to-wire in 2023, claiming inaugural Pete Rozelle weekly award for 2023…Gets nod over equally 1-3 AFC West out of sheer habit and fact entire division is ranked this week.
7. Houston Texans (0-1; lost to Baltimore 25-9) – No upset loss, no flying cross country, just solid, sustained B-10 performance from team desperate to show winning two (2) of final three (3) games in 2022 was utter fluke …Next Loss: Indianapolis
8. Tennessee Titans (0-1; lost to New Orleans 16-15) – Three (3) turnovers yield ten Saints’ points, showing type of mettle that tends to lead straight to B-10 glory…Titans pay homage to Lionel Messi by scoring all their points on kicks…Next Loss: Los Angeles Chargers
9. Tennesse Titans at New Orleans Saints – First B-10 Game of the Year nominee as Titans, Saints thrill regional audience with 21 (21) possessions ending in either some sort of kick or a turnover…Teams show early season fundamentals grasp with combined 13 penalties.
10. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-0; defeated Indianapolis 31-21) – Jaguars B-10 street cred so substantial that even a win gets them ranked, thank to strength-of- schedule points for only beating Colts…Owner Genghis Khan forming plans to hold coaching staff families hostage if team isn’t on B-10 medal stand by Halloween…Next Loss: Kansas City
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Indianapolis at Houston
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Los Angeles (A) at Tennessee
