The Bottom Ten is on the house this week.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 17
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
A two (2)-win team, a three (3)-win team, and a four (4)-win team that has lost six straight…It’s not the losingest Bottom Ten medal stand ever, but the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of professional Bottom Ten ineptitude – promises to deliver key turnovers, false starts, and missed tackles right up to the final losses.
And the reign of the NFC South has been blown wide open, with the Pete Rozelle Award – issued to the NFL’s worst division – replaced by conference honors for the first time in 2023: the Ray Malavasi Pin (NFC) and the Marv Levy Broach (AFC).
This week’s mess, as the nags limp down the home stretch:
1. Carolina Panthers (2-13; lost to Green Bay 33-30) – Gut-check, thrilling close loss moves Panthers back into B-10 top spot…Presuming Cardinals don’t lose next two (2) games by combined 17,000-2 score, Panthers first B-10 title there for the losing…Next Loss: at Jacksonville
2. Arizona Cardinals (3-12; lost to Chicago 27-16) – Cardinals fan(s) up in arms over team dropping from #1 spot after loss to early-season #1…Cardinals need to lose out and have the Panthers – somehow – win to claim 2023 B-10 title…Next Loss: at Philadelphia
3. Washington Commanders (4-11; lost to NY Jets 30-28) – Commanders inexplicably overcome 20-0 deficit to lead 28-27 before heroically losing game on last-second field goal…Six (6) straight losses best in NFL…Next Loss: San Francisco
4. New York Giants (5-10; lost to Philadelphia 33-25) – Though three (3) game win streak ended B-10 title hopes, medal stand finish still not completely out of the question…With Rams coming to town, Giants cannot get caught looking ahead to Eagles rematch in finale…Next Loss: LA Rams
5. Los Angeles Chargers (5-10; lost to Buffalo 24-22) – Interim head coach ensures Chargers don’t miss a step in quest for 2023 B-10 glory with third straight loss…Chargers hoping blowing 4th-quarter lead will lead to momentum boost for final two (2) games…Next Loss: at Denver
6. Tennessee Titans (5-10; lost to Seattle 20-17) – Titans proof that you count out team that once won consecutive B-10 titles at your peril, as Titans back in familiar haunts: a late-season B-10 survey…Titans peaking late, having lost two (2) straight and six (6) out of eight (8)…Next Loss: at Houston
7. NFC East (30-30) – Though NFC South has worse record, NFC East throws down gauntlet claiming Ray Malavasi Pin for being NFC’s worst division with two (2) teams in survey as entire division has combined to lose ten (10) of last eleven (11) stuff.
8. AFC South (29-31) – Earns first Marv Levy Broach – issued to AFC’s worst division – of 2023, with three (3) 8-7 teams, including Jacksonville, who have lost four (4) straight.
9. New England Patriots (4-11; defeated Denver 26-23) – Coach that can’t lose the big one stigma sure to follow Bill Belichick forever as Patriots win ends dream of Belichick becoming first coach to win Super Bowl(s), B-10 title….Next Loss: at Buffalo
10. Minnesota Vikings (7-8; lost to Detroit 30-24) – Vikings have lost two (2) straight, including earning spot in History books as team that gave Detroit first division title in 30 years…Vikings earn Pollsters Award, issued to highest ranked B-10 team still eligible for NFL playoffs…Next Loss: Green Bay
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Carolina at Jacksonville
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Tennessee at Houston
