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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 3
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Even after one week, it’s plain it’s Jacksonville and everyone else in the race for the most coveted trophy in sports, The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten futility.
Between a control-freak coach and rookie quarterback going through the usual rookie growing pains, it’s all systems go for the Jaguars in their quest to win back-to-back Bottom Ten titles.
This week’s imbroglio,as the nags stumble out of the starting gate:
1. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1; lost to New Orleans 37-21) – Jaguars show mastery of fundamentals with three (3) illegal formation penalties and six (6) dropped passes…Jaguars 16th NFL team to lose at least 16 straight games…Next Loss: Denver
2. Green Bay Packers (0-1; lost to New Orleans 38-3) – The Packers made made whiney QB Aaron Rogers co-general manager for this???…Packers earn coveted B-10 medal stand berth with biggest loss of opening week, as strong second half sees two interceptions, fumble, stifle any chance of comeback…Next Loss: Detroit
3. Atlanta Falcons (0-1; lost to Philadelphia 32-6) – Falcons show cursory early interest with 3-0 lead before “defense” takes command, getting outscored 32-3 rest of the way…Current six (6)-game skid best second-best behind Jaguars…Next Loss: at Tampa Bay
4. Detroit Lions (0-1; lost to San Francisco 41-33) – Lions another team keeping 2020 momentum alive, with five (5) straight losses…With loss in hand, trailing 38-10, Lions fan(s) everywhere still scratching heads over abortive comeback…Next Loss: at Green Bay (9/20)
5. Tennessee Titans (0-1; lost to Arizona 38-13) – Two-time B-10 champions, Titans throw hat in ring for 2020 with rousing home loss…Offense takes reins in quest for 2020 B-10 glory, with three (3) turnovers leading to 14 (14) Cardinal points…Next Loss: team
6. Minnesota Vikings (0-1; lost to Cincinnati 27-24) – Vikings didn’t start on patented B-10 TitleTrak Radar, but any team losing to B-10 perennial Bengals in opener earns spot thanks to big strength-of-schedule points…Next Loss: at Arizona
7. NFC North (0-4) – While dethroning NFC East will be difficult, B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” 0-4 opening week tough to top, making division easy choice for weekly Pete Rozelle Award – issued to league’s worst conference…Next Loss: Due to proximity to Canadian border, league looking to send champion to CFL playoffs instead of NFL playoffs.
8. Gotham City (0-2; NY Jets: lost to Carolina 19-14; NY Giants: lost to Denver 27-13 ) –Holy opening week Batman!!!…With teams not meeting in 2021, Ed Koch Cup – symbolic of Big Apple football ineptitude – could come down to Giants loss in preseason opener…Next Loss: NY Jets: New England; NY Giants: Atlanta
9. Chicago Bears (0-1; lost to LA Rams 34-14) – Bears break out to 13-0 deficit and never look back in dominating, total team effort (TTE) loss…Bears offense clutch when it counts, going 0-for-4 on 4th down conversions…Next Loss: Cincinnati
10. NFL – Not only is it still possible for games to end without a winner, but quality of play so low in 2021 that half of all teams still winless…Next Loss: Entire league as fewer and fewer kids play football.
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Atlanta at New York Giants
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Detroit at Green Bay
Exciting Regional Action: Cincinnati at Chicago
