The Daily Dose/January 21, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

HERE WE GO AGAIN: President Donald Trump’s inaugural address was 2,996 words long, longer than his 2017 address (1,433 words), a bit longer than the historical average (2,340), and well shorter than William Henry Harrison’s 1841 record (8,445). Some of it was decent rhetoric. Most of it was blather, the kind America nine years ago decided it was willing to tolerate. 

Leading Off: This one is rich, coming as it does from a man with blood on his hands for presiding over an incompetent COVID response, though it should be noted we all have some blood on our hands for tolerating it:  

We now have a government that cannot manage even a simple crisis at home while, at the same time, stumbling into a continuing catalog of catastrophic events abroad.

At Least Fact Checkers Will Have Steady Work: This is false. No country is sending us their criminals and mentally ill.

It fails to protect our magnificent, law-abiding American citizens but provides sanctuary and protection for dangerous criminals, many from prisons and mental institutions, that have illegally entered our country from all over the world.

Go In Peace, Serve The Lord: The following two excerpts come from a man of no known religious convictions and who we strongly suspect cannot name the first five books of the Bible.

 I was saved by God to make America great again.

We will not forget our country, we will not forget our Constitution, and we will not forget our God.  

USA! USA!: Good luck with this. Trump will need to deport over 7,500 illegals a day every day for the next four years to make this happen. That people actually believe this says a lot about America in the third decade of the 21st century. 

…we will begin the process of returning millions and millions of criminal aliens back to the places from which they came. 

Econ 101: This is ignorance personified because foreign countries do not pay tariffs, they are paid by the importing company, who will pass the cost along to us. 

Instead of taxing our citizens to enrich other countries, we will tariff and tax foreign countries to enrich our citizens.

If Ignorance Is Inevitable: Anybody who believes this is as ignorant as Trump: 

A short time from now, we are going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America…

Dry, Technical, Matter: This is just a sampling; there were also claims about China operating the Panama Canal and the US stopping all wars. This would go against millennia of human nature because war has been man’s calling card since time immemorial, not to mention America’s calling card since before the Revolution.  

The Bottom Line: Donald Trump will surround himself with people who should know better than to fall for his nonsense, but it can be said America should’ve known better, too. And there was a time when Trump would’ve been dismissed out of hand. But America is now as ignorant as its president, and a hundred years from now people – including Americans, if there are any left – will wonder why America decided to embrace ignorance and lies. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Friends, The Diary of a Nobody is enjoying a day off. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

Due to time constraints, today’s entries first appeared in 2021.

In 1954 – The world’s first nuclear-powered submarine, the USS Nautilus (SSN-571), is launched in Groton, Connecticut. Nautilus would be commissioned in September and served until 1980 and is now a museum in New London, Connecticut. The ship was named after the fictional submarine in the Jules Verne novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea.

In 1945 – The Boston Bruins establish a new NHL record for the fastest four goals scored in a 14-3 win over the New York Rangers. The Bruins got four goals in a 1 minute and 20-second span in the second period, between the 6:34 and the 7:54 marks. The Bruins broke the record of 1 minute, 25 seconds they had established on January 11, 1927, and the record still stands. 

In 1995 – On Bended Knee by Boyz II Men is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the sixth and final non-consecutive week. The song also peaked at #20 in Great Britain and at #2 in Billboard’s soul chart, was Billboard’s fifth-biggest song of the year and its 14th biggest of the 1990s. The song had first gone to #1 on December 3, replacing their single I’ll Make Love to You at the top, making them the first act to replace themselves at #1 on the Hot 100 since the Beatles in 1964. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today…There is no unsolvable problem if we face it wisely and courageously.
Franklin Roosevelt
First Inaugural Address
3/4/33

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1973 was Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree by Dawn featuring Tony Orlando. It spent four weeks at #1. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What act which replaced themselves at #1 on the Hot 100 spent the most weeks at the top? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 20, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

HERE WE GO AGAIN: Donald Trump takes the presidential oath of office today for the second time. By all appearances, it will be steady-as-she-goes for his second term, meaning the lies and ignorance that were the hallmark of his first term will return. 

USA! USA! There is no reason to think otherwise. Trump is already on record as believing the moon is part of Mars, that Colorado deserves a border fence, and that the American Revolution was won when the Continental Army secured British airports. Since Election Day, Trump has brilliantly called for US ownership of Greenland, Canada becoming the 51st state, and taking the canal back from Panama. All of these suggestions are witless and not deserving of consideration by any thinking American. 

Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: Do you believe the moon is part of Mars? Do you believe America won the Revolution because we secured British airports? Of course you don’t, and neither does anyone you know over the age of twelve. That the president of the United States believes these things is beyond comprehension.  

Fly In The Ointment: But America is open to ignorance now. Mired halfway between the prominence we once had and the oblivion that awaits us, we now prefer appeasement to accomplishment. The American Century ended ages ago, we could not produce a cogent, competent response to COVID, and we haven’t done anything great since leaving the moon over 50 years ago. If we’re not careful, the entire American experiment will come crashing down, perhaps before this half-century is out. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The surprise, of course, is not that Trump is spewing nonsense; he’s been doing that as long as he’s been in the public eye. No, History will record that the real surprise was that America tolerated his blather for even one day, much less nine years. Trump was given a pass, though. The media saw ratings and clicks, and we citizens appreciated being told what we wanted to hear, even if it was neither practical nor truthful. Trump was heralded for changing the narrative when he should’ve been condemned for being a dolt.

The Bottom Line: We will always get the government we deserve. Last November we elected, again, lies and ignorance, and that’s what we are going to get for the next four years. That America tolerated ignorance of this magnitude will baffle historians for decades to come. There was a time when both the American media and electorate would’ve dismissed Donald Trump for the witless blatherskite he is, but that time has passed. We’re in a post-knowledge, post-competence America now, and our collective American experience is the lesser for it. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reports it was a slow night at the hotel. 

Boy, it was slow tonite…

———

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Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

1265 – The first English parliament to include not only lords but burgesses from major English shires sits for the first time. Called by Simon de Montfort, who had defeated forces loyal to Henry III and claimed to rule under his name, the parliament lasted until March. The practice of inviting burgesses to Parliament continued intermittently until 1341, when lords and burgesses began meeting separately, and today the chamber is known as the House of Commons. 

In 1980 – The Pittsburgh Steelers win the Super Bowl, defeating the Los Angeles Rams 31-19 at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. It was the fourth of six Super Bowl titles for the Steelers and was the first of three Super Bowl defeats for the Rams, to go along with two titles. The halftime show was performed by Up With People, and Cheryl Ladd performed the national anthem. 

In 1973 – Carly Simon is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third and final consecutive week with You’re So Vain. It was the third of twelve Top 40 hits for Simon, her first of six Top 10 songs, and remains her only #1. The song also went to #1 in Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 9th-biggest song of the year. Simon has long said the song refers to three men, one of whom is Warren Beatty. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I can’t bite my tongue because my heart will bleed.
Cyril Neville

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Secretary of State Warren Christopher signed the Algiers Accords on behalf of the United States. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s #1 song of 1973? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 19, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Donald Trump – The lying, ignorant sexual predator – a man of no intellectual or moral substance and now a convicted felon – resumes his presidency tomorrow…Previously, he claimed the moon is part of Mars and that Colorado deserves a border fence…Now, among other things, he wants to make Canada the 51st state and take the canal back from Panama, things smart middle schoolers everywhere know are completely whack. 

2. College Football Playoff – Hey guys, kudos on a pretty good playoff…There is some tweaking that needs to be done – Boise State and Arizona State did not deserve top four seeds and Oregon deserved better – but overall, not too bad…About time, too…One thing, though: can we please wrap this up on New Year’s Day???…We lose interest in college football after that…Please play it at the Rose Bowl, too. 

3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…The shocker is not that Donald Trump continues to spew idiocy – it’s what he does, after all – but that America fell for it…A media paced by Uncle Walter and Woodward and Bernstein would’ve had Trump out of the race in 2015, but today’s media escorted him straight to the primaries, where Trump found a collectively stupid America that now prefers appeasement to accomplishment. 

4. Washington Commanders – Did we call it or what???…SB5 pollsters – classic bandwagoners – called their upset win over the top-seeded Detroit Lions…Or would have had there been a Sunday Bottom 5 last week…Trust us. 

5. Israeli/Hamas War – As we write this, ceasefire still not in effect, though SB5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” war turned into genocide months ago, as civilian slaughter continued long after Israel gained military and tactical advantage. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is slow to realize the heater at the hotel is back on. Today’s Diary. 

Showing that our powers of observation are now basically squat, we didn’t notice it until about an hour in, when we were sitting in our back office, noticed the space heater there wasn’t on, and realized our hands weren’t cold…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1981 – The US and Iran sign an agreement to release 52 US hostages held at the American embassy in Tehran since November 1979. The agreement is known as the Algiers Accords because Algeria helped broker the deal and coordinated the release of the hostages with the release of Iranian assets in the US. The hostages would be released the following day, as Ronald Reagan was inaugurated president. Other US and British hostages taken in different places at the same time would be released by late 1982. 

In 1963 – Roy Emerson of Australia wins the Australian Championships, defeating countryman Ken Fletcher 6-3, 6-3, 6-1 in Adelaide. It was the second of six Australian Championship wins for Emerson and his third of twelve Grand Slam titles. For Fletcher, it remains his only Grand Slam singles final, to go along with ten Grand Slam mixed doubles titles and two doubles championships. The tournament has been played in Melbourne since 1972. 

In 1991 – Garth Brooks is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles & Tracks chart – for the second and final consecutive weeks with Unanswered Prayers. The song also went #1 country in Canada and was Billboard’s 9th-biggest country song of the year. It was the sixth country hit for Brooks and his fourth of 19 #1 country songs. The song was from the album No Fences, which was Billboard’s #1 country album of the year and it’s 2nd-biggest pop album. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

They [Hindus] pointed out that the raising of Lazarus from the dead was unworthy of remark; their own religion had many more interesting and astonishing miracles than this…
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Donna Summer has had three #1s on the Billboard 200 album chart: Bad Girls, Live and More, and On The Radio: Greatest Hits Volumes I & II. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who signed the Algiers Accords on behalf of the United States? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose will return.

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Thank you for reading,

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Thank you,

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Friends, the hiatus of The Daily Dose continues. It will return on Inauguration Day.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody. 

Thank you for reading,

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