The Daily Dose/March 12, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Editor’s Note: while working on today’s Leading Off segment, we thought the subject matter seemed awfully familiar, and some research showed we had written about the same thing on April 29, 2024. We offer this item again: 

THE PLANET’S GOING TO HELL, BUT LET’S TALK SONG RANKINGS: Today’s Leading Off segment is inspired by yesterday’s trivia question, which concerned Billboard’s biggest song for 1962. The answer is Stranger on the Shore, by an English act named Mr Acker Bilk.  

Dry, Technical Matter: That Billboard ranked it as their #1 song of the year is almost interesting because the song only spent one week at the top, a rather short amount of time for year-end chart-topper, especially when you consider three songs that year spent five weeks at #1. 

Need To Know: Billboard’s specific formula for their year-end rankings is kept secret – sort of like the Colonel’s combination of eleven herbs and spices. But it is generally known to involve an inverse points system – a point for a week at #100, a hundred points for a week at #1 and so on – plus some other factors. 

Oh, Jesus H: It should be noted, too, that over the years this system has resulted in a non-#1 song ending the year at #1. 

WTF: We have never understood this methodology for ranking songs at all; for our money the most weeks at #1 takes precedence, with ties broken by the most weeks in the Top 10 and if that doesn’t break the tie, then most weeks in the Top 40 and then most weeks in the Hot 100.

Running The Numbers: Using this methodology, the #1 song of 1962 is I Can’t Stop Loving You by Ray Charles, which spent five weeks at #1 and eleven weeks in the Top 10, giving it the nod over two Four Seasons songs – Big Girls Don’t Cry and Sherry – which also spent five weeks at #1, but spent ten and seven weeks respectively in the Top 10. 

The Bottom Line: This is boringly subjective, of course, and any chart issued by Billboard demands respect, but we disagree with them: peak position, followed by the assorted tiebreakers is, for our money, the only logical way of ranking songs. And using The Daily Dose methodology, Stranger on the Shore – with one week at #1 and eleven weeks in the Top 10 – would’ve been the 18th-biggest song of the year, not the biggest. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow deals with a Jekyll-and-Hyde guest. Today’s Diary. 

The gal was tedious, tho…She called for an update on her request while we were still looking for her goddamned humidifier and she sounded priviliged, just like Ma Sparrow did when she was in the mood to irritate everyone…To her credit, tho, she was genuinely grateful when we delivered exactly what she was looking for…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 2009 – American financier Bernie Madoff pleads guilty to charges stemming from a $36 billion Ponzi scheme he ran. Madoff pled guilty without a plea bargain – perhaps to avoid testifying against employees and said the scheme began in the early 1990s, though an ex-employee admitted to falsifying records in the 1970s and the government was never able to determine exactly when the fraud began. Madoff died in prison in 2021 at age 81. 

In 1966 – Bobby Hull of the Chicago Blackhawks establishes a new NHL record for most goals in a season in a 4-2 win over the New York Rangers. Hull’s third-period goal was his 51st of the season, breaking the record of 50 established by Maurice Richard in 1944-45 and later tied by Bernie Geoffrion in 1960-61 and by Hull the following season. Hull finished the season with 54 goals and broke the record again with 58 goals in 1968-69. The record is now 92 by Wayne Gretzky of Edmonton in 1981-82.

In 2021 – Oliva Rodrigo is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the eighth and final consecutive week with Drivers License. It was the second chart single for Rodrigo and her first of 24 Top 40 hits, nine Top 10s, and three #1s songs. The song went to #1 in 24 other countries, including Israel, Norway, and Great Britain, was Billboard’s 8th-biggest song of the year, and won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Solo Performance. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.
Queen Victoria

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

The Confederate constitution specified one 6-year term for the president of the Confederacy.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When did the NHL go to an 82-game schedule? – Answer next time! 

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The Daily Dose/March 10, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reports the hotel’s restaurant will soon start offering 

…it was plain this news thrilled the AFDM…He was moving his hands as if he were auditioning for Dance Fever, and he all but achieved and maintained a state of arousal. 

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1861 – The constitution of the Confederate States of America is adopted by delegates in Montgomery, Alabama. The constitution was similar to the US version, though slavery was “recognized and protected” and it included line-item veto power for the president. It replaced a provisonal constitution, and the original version is in a rare book library at the University of Georgia. It remained in effect until the Confederacy lost the Civil War in 1865. 

In 1918 – The first NHL playoff game is played, a 7-3 win by the Toronto Hockey Club over the Montreal Canadiens in game one of a 2-game total goals championship series at Arena Gardens – latter the Mutual Street Arena – in Toronto. Toronto would win the series 10 goals to 7 two nights later to win the O’Brien Trophy, an award discontinued by the NHL in 1950. Toronto would later defeat the Vancouver Millionaires of the Pacific Coast Hockey Association in five games for the Stanley Cup. 

In 1963 – Carl Butler and Pearl are at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the seventh of eleven non-consecutive weeks with Don’t Let Me Cross Over. It was the first of eleven Top 40 country hits for the husband and wife duo, their first of two Top 10 songs, and remains their only #1. Later versions by Jerry Lee Lewis/Linda Gail Lewis and Deborah Allen/Jim Reeves both went Top 10 country. The song also peaked at #88 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

It is hard to define morality, for each age makes its own definition to suit its temper and sins.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. X: Rousseau and Revolution

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Stranger on the Shore by Mr Acker Bilk was Billboard’s #1 song of 1962. It spent one week at the top, plus 21 weeks in the Hot 100 and eleven weeks in the Top 10. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was the length of the term for the Confederate president? – Answer next time! 

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The Daily Dose/March 10, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™ 

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return. Promise.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow screws up the time change. Today’s Diary. 

Then we remembered the time change and 1810 become 1910 which meant we wouldn’t have time to take a crap, much less get a workout in, so we wasted whatever a dose of our pre-workout supplement cost, probably a couple of bucks… 

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

Editor’s Note: due to time constraints, these entries first appeared last year. 

In  1876 – The telephone is used for the first time, when Alexander Graham Bell calls his assistant Thomas Watson who was in another room at Bell’s Boston laboratory. Bell had received his patent for the telephone three days earlier, an application that had been filed in February, the same day, though a bit later, than Elisha Gray had filed an intent to file a patent. The two completed History’s first trans-continental call in 1915, with Bell in New York and Watson in San Francisco.

In 1987 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar of the Los Angeles Lakers becomes the NBA’s all-time leader in personal fouls in a 143-107 win over the Denver Nuggets. Abdul-Jabbar’s first quarter charging foul was the 4,194th of his career, breaking the record established by Elvin Hayes from 1968-84. Abdul-Jabbar would retire in with 4,657, a mark that still stands, and Hayes’ total is now good for ninth on the all-time list. 

1962 – Hey Baby by Bruce Channel (pronounced Shu-nell) is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks. The song was Channel’s first chart single, and while he had four other Hot 100 entries, Hey Baby remains his only Top 40 hit. The song also peaked at #2 on Billboard’s soul chart, at #2 in Great Britain, and in 1982, Anne Murray took it to #7 on Billboard’s country chart, making it one of the few songs to hit on all three major Billboard singles charts. Channel disliked touring and later had a successful career as a songwriter.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I made practice runs to skid row to get ready for my future.
Charles Bukowski
Ham On Rye

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

The NHL career record for most shorthanded goals is by Wayne Gretzky with 73 from 1979-99. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s #1 song of 1962? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 9, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Donald Trump – General Secretary Trump now presiding over America’s first dictatorship since Lincoln’s in Civil War…Amerika now being governed off of top of Trump’s head, which is bad because Trump is witless, believing moon is part of Mars, that Colorado deserve border fence, and that Canada should be 51st state. 

2. South Carolina– Noted US state comes kicking and screaming into 19th century, executing someone by firing squad this week, though it should be noted the condemned chose this method over electrocution and lethal injection…Bravo for options, but this is further evidence that America is in retrograde…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still unclear about which method they would choose…On the one hand, they’ve been gassed, and it wasn’t too bad, but they’ve heard getting shot doesn’t hurt as much as you might think. 

3. People’s Republik of Amerika – The 3-hole staple…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” 2026 midterm elections will go off as scheduled, because while General Secretary Trump is ignorant and selfish, he is not necessarily evil…His only goal is to draw as much attention to himself as possible. 

4. Los Angles Lakers – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” NBA must go through formality of holding NBA playoffs, but you, me, and your aunt in Reno knows our Lakers, Luka Doncic, and Lebron James will take it all…EDITOR’S NOTE FOLLOWING LEBRON JAMES INJURY: Oh hell, all is lost…Nevermind. 

5. Donald Trump Fact Check: – Click here for a list of the lies Trump told to Congress this week…Courtesy of the Associated Press. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reports some changes at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

The big news – tho perhaps not shocking news, since his job was advertised last week – is that EZ has been fired…

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1946- A crowd crush at a soccer stadium in central England kills 33 and injures more than 400. The crowd was estimated at 85,000 for the match between Bolton and Stoke City in an FA Cup match. Fans had climbed over closed turnstiles and entered through a previously locked gate and eventually a barrier collapsed crushing those underneath. The game was resumed with some of the dead lying beyond the field of play and ended in a 0-0 tie. 

In 1991 – Theo Fleury of the Calgary Flames establishes a new NHL record for short-handed goals in a game in an 8-4 win over the St Louis Blues. Fleury had three shorthanded goals, breaking the record of two that had been done many times previously. Fleury retired in 2003 with 35 shorthanded goals, a mark good for eleventh on the all-time list. 

In 1996 – Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for a record-breaking 15th week with One Sweet Day. The song broke the record of 14 weeks at #1 established by Whitney Houston in 1993 with I Will Always Love You and tied in 1994 by Boyz II Men with I’ll Make Love To You, and the record is now 19 weeks by Old Town Road by Lil Naz X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus in 2019 and tied last year by Shaboozey with A Bar Song (Tipsy).

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

It doesn’t take a year to tell an apple from a wart.
Rex Stout
The Black Mountain

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

The last game played by a Louisville major league baseball team was on October 15, 1899, when the Louisville Colonels defeated the Chicago Orphans 9-5 in Chicago in the second game of a doubleheader. In the first game, the Orphans had defeated the St Louis Perfectos 7-0. It was the 15th of 17 major league doubleheaders that involved three teams.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who holds the NHL record for most career shorthanded goals? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 8, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

USA! USA!: A private spacecraft called Athena landed on the moon Thursday, the second civilian spacecraft landing on the moon this week. Athena touched down near the lunar south pole after its Feb 27 launch. 

Fly In The Ointment: No one is entirely sure how the spacecraft is oriented. It could be, as designed, standing straight up, or it would be on its side. 

Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: We have a couple of questions. 1) Why is it taking so long to get to the moon nowadays? Apollo made it in three days.Now it’s taking a week. 2) Who the hell cares? 

Dry, Technical Matter: For our money, continued trips the moon are pointless. We put humans on it over 50 years ago and we have never seen the purpose of going back. Been there, done that, to use a catchphrase. It’s akin to a mountain climber rejoicing over returning to the base camp of a mountain he has already summited. Or going back to a small mountain when there is still Everest to climb 

Boy, You’re Grouchy Today: We’re not even all that thrilled with returning humans to the moon, not that anyone should think Artemis is going to land there anytime soon. It is already six years behind schedule and those who believe the 2027 lunar landing date will be met are high, legally in more and more states. 

The Bottom Line: This nation could’ve had men on Mars forty years ago if we’d wanted to. But we didn’t want to. America stopped dreaming within a generation or two of TV becoming the focal point of American life, and our country and our planet are the lesser for it. A pond that gains no new water eventually dies out, and friends, America is dying out. We haven’t done anything great since Apollo and we elected a president whose self-named university was a boiler room and who believes the moon is part of Mars. We could land on the moon a thousand more times and it wouldn’t do us any good.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow does battle with a vending machine. Today’s Diary. 

The first sack got stuck on its own and we forked over for another sack, a desperate – and futile – attempt to liberate the first one…

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1979 – The CD – a joint development of Philips and Sony – is demonstrated publicly for the first time in the Netherlands. The first CDs were released in Japan in 1982 and by 1991 were outselling LPs and cassettes, and by 2001 accounted for over 90% of all music sales. The first act to sell a million CDs was Dire Straits in 1985, and the first Beatles CDs were released in 1987. A CD is 1.2 millimeters thick and 4.7 inches in diameter. 

In 1900 – The National League decides to contract from twelve teams to eight teams for the coming season. Baltimore, Cleveland, and Washington would return to the major leagues in 1901 as part of the American League, while Louisville returned to the minor leagues. The National League had been at twelve teams since the 1891 season and remain at eight teams until the 1961 season. 

In 1969 – Sly & the Family Stone is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth and final consecutive week with Everyday People. It was the second of nine Top 40 hits for the group, their second of five Top 10 songs, and their first of three #1s. The song also peaked at #36 in Great Britain, had earlier spent two weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billboard’s 5th-biggest song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

This species could have been so great, and now everybody just wants a new Salad Shooter or sneakers with lights in them. This is what we’ve settled for.
George Carlin

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Ezzard Charles had a career professional boxing record of 95-25-1. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was the last major league game played by a Louisville team? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!