The Daily Dose/September 24, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA!: One of the privileges of life in the third decade of the 21st century – no matter where you live on the planet – is having a front seat to the death of the American experiment. Now, us humans tend not to recognize history when we’re living it, but watching America now is like watching those made-for-TV-movies we were subjected to growing up. Every day we see fresh scenes about a country on its last legs.
The United Banana Republic Of America: Currently we are at the incredible stage that at one time in the American Experiment would have been utterly unfathomable:
A sitting president running for reelection who gives no guarantees he will cede power if he loses!
This happened yesterday, and this wasn’t the first time President Trump declined to give such assurances. He’s been doing it for a while, now.
Fly In The Ointment: This is how countries die: a leader throws nonsense like this out there and – as when African dictators take power – no one says no and in short order it becomes a legitimate part of the American conversation.
This is neither an acceptable nor a legitimate part of the American conversation!
Dry, Technical Matter: We must say no, friends. If Trump earns reelection all right, bully for him. If he does not though, he must go and the time is now for every American, from Vice President Mike Pence on down, to start acknowledging this. So far, though, Trump is commanding the loyalty rich bullies throughout history have commanded, and the only Republican to have the nerve to speak up against this is Utah Senator Mitt Romney.
Ooopsies: Friends, our country is dying. From 30 years of continuous war, to social divides that are making the 1960s seem like a show of national unity to a president who is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, those who believe America has some future date with peace and prosperity are deluding themselves.
The Bottom Line: America right now is at the midpoint between the influence we once had and the oblivion that awaits us. In 40 days we will herald to ourselves and the world whether we are content with this or whether we are willing to make some changes.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: A couple of guests at the hotel annoy Sparrow.
The other guy who annoyed me was the fat older loser who ate his cereal at the counter that had the cereal and muffin racks…The wizard pulled up a stool from the computer area, moved the apples and sat down like he owned the place…Look, you can’t eat in the lobby area, it’s a state law or hotel policy or some crap like that, but he was almost done and it would have been pointless to ask him to leave because people like this will just start whining and making excuses as if this were all my fault and I’ll just beat the snot out of him and get fired and nobody needs that…I mean, coming in on time, every night doesn’t get you out of beating guests.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Fred and Gaylon give a lesson in courtesy.
“Well, sir, Fred says you were and his opinion is the one that matters.” My tone was so sweet you could put it in your morning coffee. There’s a reason for this. One, a confrontational attitude will get you a confrontation right now, which probably means a report and, two, Fred and I are going to win the argument. The guest can’t throw us out, after all. If we say you gotta go, you gotta go. It’s that simple. But you can assert your position without getting all worked up.
We get the guy walking and soon we’re out the poker doors and I keep the charm level set at Cary Grant and all he wants, really, is to be listened to for a few minutes and while we ignore his call to consult video coverage on this one, eventually we get him off property and he even ended up shaking our hands.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1789 – President George Washington signs the Judiciary Act of 1789, three days after its passage by Congress. The Act established the federal judiciary that was authorized, but not detailed, by the new US Constitution. The Act set the number of supreme court justices at six and established 13 judicial districts as well as the office of the attorney general, plus United States attorneys and marshals for each district. The first attorney general, Edmund Randolph, took office on Sept 26 and Chief Justice John Jay took office on Oct 19.
In 1938 – Don Budge of the United States becomes the first tennis player to win the Grand Slam winning the US National Championship – now the US Open – in New York City. Budge defeated Gene Mako in the final 6-3, 6-8, 6-2, 6-1 and earlier in the year he had also won what are now the French and Australian opens and Wimbledon, which he had also won in 1937. Budge turned pro the following month and would later injure his shoulder in the Air Force, an injury that never completely healed.
In 1955 – Chuck Berry is at #1 on Billboard’s R&B Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to today’s soul chart – for the fifth of nine consecutive weeks with Maybellene. It was the first chart single for Berry and his first of three #1 songs on the soul chart. The song also peaked at #5 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores pop chart and is regarded by some as one of the most influential records of the Rock Era. The song was inspired by an old western swing song called Ida Red, popularized by Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys in 1938.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins. – Heywood Braun
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Conway Twitty’s first #1 song on a Billboard chart was It’s Only Make Believe, which spent two non-consecutive weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 in November 1958.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How long did John Jay serve as chief justice of the United States? – Answer next time!
