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Gaylon

October 4
Spent an uneventful night pulling some OT at Eddie – 1 last night. The weather is starting to change and I was dressed for the cooler temperatures. I got a loaner long sleeve shirt from Wardrobe and I also went full Under Armour, wearing both my Cold Gear tights and my brand new white Cold Gear mock turtleneck, which really cuts a commanding presence under the uniform shirt. It was a bit of overkill since it was only cool and not cold, but what the hell.

The big news is tomorrow night I will be making my debut as a mobile unit, patrolling the outside of Monte Carlo in an official MCSD Toyota Tacoma. D-Dawg’s been a part-time mobile unit for a couple of months and he says it’s not too bad a gig. 

This is completely out of left field. There is no shortage of mobile units on graveyard. (What we really need are bike units) In fact, there are three veteran outside units working the casino tonight, including Redneck Randy, who is not altogether pleased with this fact, but he isn’t taking it out on me because he knows I had nothing to with it. 

Mobile units are designated Mary units on the radio. Here is your Mary lineup for tonight:

Mary 1 – Judy
Mary 2 – Guy
Mary 3 – moi

I have little idea what the job entails, but one thing I’ve learned over the years as a radio announcer and a sports official is how to wing it, so it should all work out. 

October 6
The best part about being a Mary unit is there are opportunities for living out some of my Reid/Malloy Adam-12 fantasies. I was a big Adam-12 fan growing up and I have a significant number of them, even though I’m 40 and probably shouldn’t. 

Early on Guy and I rolled on a call. Dispatch yelped for an outside unit to roll to valet pick up where a drunk was picking up his car. We got there after he had pulled out but we ID the car as it is heading out and Guy pulls in behind it. I’m behind Guy and we’re both flashing our yellow lights, the Adam-12 factor is on High, and – in a move that would’ve had Reid and Malloy sporting wood from here to Reno – I pull up alongside the suspect, while he’s moving, and told him to pull over and when he complied I expertly pulled in ahead of him. 

Guy and I approached, ready for whatever tricks this dipwad might pull…Guy is armed and at the ready, and I have my flashlight and we say howdy and Guy, who has a deeper voice than you would think a skinny runt could muster, informed the driver he was drunk and that he had a couple of options. One, he could continue his journey leaving the Monte Carlo, in which we would notify the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department of this tidbit, throwing in his description and that of his car, for good measure, or he could let us escort him to the garage, where we’ll let him park and sleep it off or go get something to eat. He saw our point and let us escort him to the garage. 

That was really the only call. I spent a couple of hours patrolling the garage and when you’re not doing that there’s then employee lot and the short term lot and north drive to patrol, and the night passed quickly enough. 

There was a modest bit of excitement at the end of the shift Wednesday night. I was Henry 1, as usual, and I was on my final 10-10 when we got a report of a guy at the front desk experiencing chest pains. That’s not that far from the EDR, so I scampered down but when I got there were already a handful of units there attending to him so I left. 

It gets duller. A little while later someone attending to the guy asks for someone to bring him a medical provider’s form, which lists the hospitals and clinics in the immediate vicinity. I keep those, and other forms, on me as a Henry unit, so I went and delivered one (they were at the bell desk by this time) and I was walking back through the lobby a guest bothers me to report he can’t find his bag, which he had left unattended in the middle of the lobby. 

Campers, one of the most valuable lessons I can impart, besides always wearing underwear when wearing a skirt and leaning over a craps table, is to never leave your luggage unattended. Even in a classy place like the Monte Carlo, a bag can easily turn up missing simply because someone picked up the wrong bag. As it was, we found this guy’s bag in a tour bus, where the tour guide thought it belonged to one of his passengers. For my investigatory skill, I was given a modest gratuity. 

Here is your Henry lineup for tonight:

Henry 1 – moi
Henry 2 – X-Ray
Henry 3 – Lee

There’s a new rule on shift: no switching assignments. So 77Rick appears to be making out the schedule based on how it usually ends up. Shaggy had been the usual Henry 3 on Thursdays but he always ended up switching with Lee so 77Rick said screw it, let’s put Lee up there all the time on Thursdays. 

So, naturally, I’m wondering what will happen tomorrow: Will Fred, who dislikes the hotel, be up there or will X-Ray, whom Fred invariably ended up switching with? I know you’re wondering, too.

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