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Table of Contents
Monte Carlo Security Department Radio Codes and Floor Duties
July/August 2005
July 30 – Naked chicks and bachelorette hot tub parties.
July 31 – A funny line in briefing goes unappreciated.
August 4 – MCSD dating news, none of it involving Gaylon.
August 6 – A busy, funny night in the hotel.
August 7 – Houchins will whine about anything.
August 8 – Some foul language, as Gaylon pretends to be angry at Houchins.
August 10 – D-Dawg has big chick problems.
August 11 – Orwad talks about his sister-in-law hooker.
August 12/13/16 – Gaylon buys some new boots.
August 17 & 19 – Gaylon and Special Ed fearlessly respond to a drug call in the hotel.
August 25 – Gaylon and Lee retrieve a beeper from a hotel safe.
August 27 – Gaylon and Jose waltz in on a couple doing it.
August 31 – Not paying your hooker isn’t really a crime.
September 2005
September 1 – Gaylon saves Houchins a beat down from Jackie.
September 2 & 3 – Hotel unit shenanigans.
September 6 – Gaylon gets off a funny line in briefing.
September 9 – A rather long entry containing nudity, drugs and a lost digital camera.
September 10 – A guest removes the window from his room.
September 14 &15 – Houchins is referenced.
September 16 & 19 – The famous Foot on the Desk percentage is first mentioned.
September 22 &23 – X-Ray and Gaylon respond to a potential nose bleed in the hotel.
September 26 & 28 – Twerp tells Gaylon to get a date.
September 29 & 30 – The Foot on the Desk Percentage is 41%.
October 2005
October 3 – Gaylon responds to a medical call and has no idea what to do.
October 4 & 6 – Gaylon works as an outside unit for the first time.
October 7 – X-Ray and Gaylon discuss the philosophy of working the hotel.
October 13 – The Foot on the Desk percentage inches past 50% for the first time.
October 14 – White Sox Metzger joins X-Ray and Gaylon in the hotel.
October 18 – Susan, Jackie and Butch all buff Gaylon’s bald head.
October 19, 20, 21 & 22 – The rapper 50 Cent favors Monte Carlo with an appearance.
October 26 & 27 – Gaylon racks up a pretty good Foot on the Desk Percentage.
October 30 – Gaylon spends a lot of the night with a sniveling guest.
October 31 – 88TonyB does not suffer fools easily.
November 2005
November 3 – The Foot on the Desk Percentage is barely above 25%.
November 4 & 7 – Both X-Ray and Gaylon receive gratuities.
November 9 – D-Dawg is leaving.
November 10 – Gaylon comes this close to a 60% Foot on the Desk Percentage.
November 11 & 12 – 88TonyB talks with Gaylon about becoming a supervisor.
November 17 & 18 – The end of the Foot on the Desk percentage.
November 19 – Gaylon stands around looking authoritative.
November 21 – D-Dawg and Gaylon act like dolts in the hotel.
November 25 – X-Ray, D-Dawg and Gaylon have two evictions in the hotel.
November 26 – OMP and Gaylon fart around while EMTs attend to a guest.
November 27 – D-Dawg’s poignant, somewhat funny, last night.
November 30 – There is a rather dull argument about coin values in briefing.
December 2005
December 1 & 4 – Gaylon accepts a matching bra as an acceptable form of ID.
December 7 & 8 – X-Ray, Lee and Gaylon listen in on a couple doing it.
December 9 – Lee and Gaylon take a Maxim magazine manhood quiz.
December 10 – Gaylon works a double.
December 14 & 15 – Russ breaks up a major crime ring.
December 17 – Jose and Gaylon end up on the roof.
December 21 & 22 – Jeremy, Lee and Gaylon play a joke on Maria.
December 23 – The difference between Asian and Central European women.
December 24 – Gaylon interrupts an act of fellatio in the hotel.
December 31 – Gaylon needs backup on an argument in the hotel.
January 2006
January 1 – New Year’s Eve at the Monte Carlo.
January 4 – Criminals are stupid.
January 5, 7 & 10 – X-Ray gets promoted to Henry 3.
January 11 – Bi-Bob, Schempp and Gaylon enjoy some coffee.
January 13 – Lee gets excited about some barf the crew runs into.
January 14 & 15 – Twerp’s last night.
January 16 & 18 – Gaylon is called a saint by a drunk.
January 21 – X-Ray and Gaylon respond to a pot call, find Playboy in can.
January 27 – The latest on the new MCSD uniforms.
January 29 – 88Dick and Gaylon handle a noise complaint in a penthouse.
January 30 – Jose and Gaylon run out a 6-foot, 2-inch hooker.
February 2006
February 1 & 2 – The new, sort of improved employee dining room debuts.
February 4 – The International Henry Units are established.
February 5 & 9 – Gaylon works dispatch for the first time.
February 11 – MCSD responds to a couple getting busy in the garage.
February 12 & 14 – Special Ed gets a haircut in the briefing room.
February 16, 18 & 19 – Gaylon is named MCSD graveyard Officer of the Month again.
February 23 & 24 – Gaylon applies a bandage to a wounded guest.
February 25 – Gaylon is afraid of bats. Really afraid.
February & March 2006
February 27 & March 2 – X-Ray and Gaylon spot water coming out of a pipe.
March 2006
March 4 – A busy night at room 4-207.
March 6 – Rich and Gaylon have a funny incident in the coffee shop.
March 8 & 10 – Gaylon masquerades a first responder.
March 11, 13, & 15 – X-Ray takes command in the hotel.
March 16 & 19 – Both Ted and Rich have funny lines.
March 22 – It’s a busy night in the casino.
March 23 & 24 – A woman propositions Gaylon.
March 25 – There’s a dog loose in the garage.
March 26 – The crew is as busy as they are short-handed.
March 29 – Gaylon instructs how to make a proper pot of coffee.
April 2006
April 1 – The crew moves on wizards throwing bottles from a room.
April 2 & 6 – Old Man Pilcher blows off a call for a 10-minute break.
April 9 & 15 – Gaylon gets a funny line in at a guest who is angry.
April 17 – The Monte Carlo gets a mission statement and core values.
April 21 – X-Ray, Lee and Gaylon eavesdrop on a couple doing it.
April 22 – OMP and Gaylon handle a complaint in a maid’s room.
April 26 & 27 – X-Ray and Gaylon, tragically, pour out some booze.
April 29 – Gaylon breaks several traffic rules responding a call.
May 2006
May 1 – Gaylon drives down the wrong side of the street again.
May 3, 7, 8, & 9 – The crew requalifies on their sidearms.
May 10, 11 & 24 – Radtke makes his debut.
May 25, 26 & 31 – Gaylon almost kills Schempp.
June 2006
June 1, 4 & 5 – Ted gets hit by a car.
June 6 – Judy scolds Gaylon for not running Schempp over with a truck.
June 8 & 9 – Gaylon’s days in the hotel might be numbered.
June 12, 15 & 16 – The joys of working the hotel.
June 17 – A new valet bangs up a car.
June 21 – Gaylon is not a stalker. He swears it.
June 23 – Stalking is a complete fiasco.
July 2006
July 1, 2 & 4 – OMP is taken to the hospital.
July 5, 6, 7 & 8 – Both Rich and Redneck Randy have funny lines.
July 10 – Jo(s)e and Gaylon reminisce on their days working the hotel.
July 12 – Someone at MCSD gets arrested for stealing.
July 13 – Lee is leaving!
July 14 & 16 – X-Ray and Jeremy are mistaken for strippers.
July 18 & 19 – Radtke has a funny line.
July 20 – Russ and Code Four Carlin act like cowboys.
July 21 & 22 – Prime rib makes its debut in the employee dining room.
July 24 & 26 – Rich and Gaylon deal with a nutcase.
July 27 – Tonight’s entry is offered in chronological order.
July 28 – Gaylon gets to use one of his fave lines.
July 29 – There’s more prime rib in the employee dining room.
July 30 – Gaylon’s addicted to driving the wrong way on South Drive.
August 2006
August 2 – Gaylon makes a pest of himself in briefing.
August 3 – Another night chronicled chronologically.
August 4 & 5 – Guy treats a minor accident like a four-car pileup.
August 10 & 12 – Princess Emma joins Gaylon for lunch.
August 16 – Bi-Bob, Princess Emma and Gaylon have lunch together.
August 18 – Radtke calls Gaylon a stalker.
August 19 & 21 – Princess Emma calls Gaylon a stalker.
August 22 – No one calls Gaylon a stalker.
August 24 – Gaylon spends most of the shift playing with a squirt bottle.
August 27 & 28 – X-Ray takes command in the hotel.
August 30 – Radtke receives more unsolicited dating advice from Gaylon.
August 31 – Radtke receives still more unsolicited dating advice from Gaylon.
September 2006
September 2 & 10 – Bi-Bob has a funny line.
September 13 & 14 – Gaylon gets off a funny line in briefing.
September 16 – Gaylon passes off dumb luck as brilliant detective work.
September 17 & 22 – Gaylon supervises Brandon, an EMT, giving a first aid class.
September 27 – Gaylon calls White Sox Metzger a name and Metzger laughs.
September & October 2006
September 30 & October 1 – The Prime Rib Era rolls on in the employee dining room.
October 2006
October 4 – Another night chronicled chronologically.
October 6 – The prothonotary warbler is discussed in PBX.
October 7 – The Prime Rib Era is over.
October 9 – Gaylon gives Radtke a clinic in taking a 10-minute break.
October 11 – It’s a chick minefield on the casino floor.
October 13 – Maria, Angelica and Gaylon have some laughs in PBX.
October 14 & 15 – Gaylon’s 10-minute break lasts almost an hour.
October 17, 18 & 19 – Radtke is learning his stalking lessons well.
October 20 – Prime rib returns to the employee dining room.
October 21 – Gaylon passes a leisurely night while others bust hump.
October 25 – Gaylon’s stalking plans tend not to work out.
October 26 – Gaylon gets promoted to supervisor.
The End
