The Daily Dose/July 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HEY BATTER, BATTER…SWING: One of our favorite books is the major league baseball record book and we received our 2020 edition this week. It proved to have immediate value
Let’s Start Right In On The Dry, Technical Matter, Shall We?: One of Wednesday’s On This Date items was about the Atlanta Braves using five pitchers in an inning, a new record. Thrilling, we know, but it was almost superseded by the Cincinnati Reds having zero defensive assists in a 1906 game, which, because you can’t do something fewer times than zero, would obviously be a record. The only questions would be if this was the first time it happened and has it happened since.
So we got our newly arrived baseball record book out and looked up the team record for fewest assists in a game and it showed this has been accomplished six times, the first in 1945 by the Cleveland Indians. This meant, of course, that the Reds’ mark wasn’t listed.
Do You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To Any Parties?: Why not? Box scores are not particularly difficult to find nowadays and we found two online, perhaps from the same original source, that showed no Reds player had an assist that game. You cannot believe everything you read on the Internet though – unless you read it here, of course – and there had to be a reason this mark wasn’t in the record book. It could have been a mistake, but a check of our old Sporting News record book showed they didn’t list it, either.
More Dry, Technical Matter!: We’ve learned over the years that when in doubt, check it out in a newspaper. We found the Cincinnati Enquirer’s archives and they had a box score and that, too, showed the Reds with no assists that day. Nice, but that doesn’t tell us why it would be left out of two record books. Then it hit us: maybe the Reds didn’t field nine innings, which is specified in the record book and would be the case if the Reds were the visiting team and were trailing after batting in the top of the ninth inning but we immediately dismissed this because we already knew the Reds, playing at home, won the game 10-3.
Let’s Open This Manhole Cover, Too: We looked at the line score anyway and, lo and behold, it was the second game of a doubleheader and was only seven innings long, a common practice back then and something we didn’t notice when reviewing earlier box scores.
That explained it, but then again it didn’t. It was a seven-inning game because that was what was scheduled, making it a regulation length game, which we feel merits inclusion.
The Bottom Line: Really long time readers of this crap know we have championed the inclusion of records set in regulation length seven-inning games for a long time. Probably too long and our favorite example of this is Ed Karger, who pitched a seven-inning perfect game in the second game of a doubleheader in 1907. But that’s a particularly dull discussion for another day.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow again hears from the guy who tried to scam him last month. Today’s Diary.
I had another email from Leon, the guy who led an effort to scam me out of a couple of thousand dollars last month by saying a relative in Europe had died and left me $800,000…He had first contacted me last month (I thought longer, but I checked) and I played along for my own personal amusement to see what the scam was…It wasn’t plain for a few emails…He sent me some paperwork that didn’t require anything more revealing than a PO Box number and then I’m in contact with someone from the bank and it took a couple of more emails to get to the scam…It seems Austrian law required some documents from me that could only be handled in person, either by me or by a representative and, y chance, the bank provided knew a law firm that could take care of these matters for me.
I played along and emailed the firm and they said they could take care of everything for only, if I recall correctly, $1,700 or so…Again, urgency was stressed and this was where I wrote and said no thank you…Today I wrote Leon advising him he was getting sloppy, that he had tried this on me earlier, and go find someone else.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon interrupts the act of fellatio in the hotel.
Girl B was in bed and pulling the sheet up over her, and, while the guy was fully clothed, he was seen backing up from the bed and zipping his fly, and you didn’t have to be Joe Friday to conclude we had interrupted the act of fellatio.
Get 4Ever & Ever access to both The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo for only $2.99. Click on the button and GO!
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1829 – A patent for a typographer, a precursor to the typewriter, is issued to American William Burt. Burt came up with the idea to help ease the burden of office workers, but the typographer was a bit before its time and a functional typewriter wasn’t produced until 1874, some time after Burt’s death in 1858. Burt also invented a solar compass and an equatorial sextant and was an accomplished surveyor. Largely self-educated, Burt only had six weeks of formal classroom instruction and his original typographer was destroyed in an 1836 fire at the US Patent Office.
In 2000 – Tiger Woods becomes the youngest golfer to win all four major golf titles, winning the British Open at the Old Course in St Andrews, Scotland. Woods led from the second round on and defeated Thomas Bjorn (Denmark) and Ernie Els (South Africa) by eight strokes. Woods, 24, bested Jack Nicklaus’ mark for winning the career Grand Slam by two years and since then has won two more British Opens (2005, 2006) and a total of 15 career major tournaments.
In 1977 – Barry Manilow is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Looks Like We Made It. It was the third and final #1 song for Manilow. his sixth of eleven Top 10 hits and his eighth of 18 consecutive Top 40 hits. The song also peaked at #8 in Canada, did not chart in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 37th biggest song of the year. The song had a relatively quick chart run, spending 15 weeks in the Top 40 and five weeks in the Top 10.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The spirit cannot mature into unity unless it has checked its curiosity and its wanderings. – Seneca, Roman philosopher.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The United States Supreme Court had six members when it first convened in 1790: Chief Justice John Jay and five associate justices. Their first session was held at the Royal Exchange Building in New York City.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was Barry Manilow’s biggest in Great Britain? – Answer next time!
