The Daily Dose/July 16, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Note from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest gas mileage figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary.
As sometimes happens in life, the once seemingly unattainable has become routine, as regular readers of this crap know this now makes consecutive 40 mpg fill-ups…As usual, yours truly remains clueless as to why.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: X-Ray, Lee and Gaylon eavesdrop and a couple getting busy in their room.
“Boy, they’re really going at it, aren’t they?” X-Ray asks.
I purse my lips, stroke my chin and nod solemnly.
“He certainly appears to be delivering the goods.”
Right then Lee turns the corner and – and this was really funny to see – starts trotting down the hall. He had just wrapped up 482 and was taking a crap when X-Ray and I caught the squeal. With Lee, the crew comes first, of course, and he knew we’d need back up so he selflessly wrapped matters up in the bathroom and hustled up.
X-Ray nods at the door and says, “Listen to them.”
Ever the professional, Lee puts his ear to the door.
“Fuck, what does that guy have for a cock, a howitzer?” Lee said.
“No shit,” I said. “It sounds like he’s using a plunger.”
Get out your Visa cards: $2.99 gets you 4Ever and Ever access to both The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo. Click on the button.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1969 – Apollo 11 – man’s third visit to the moon and the first to land on it – lifts off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Commanded by Neil Armstrong and manned by Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins, Apollo 11 would land and walk on the moon on July 20 and return to Earth on July 24. The previous December, Apollo 8 had become the first mission to reach and orbit the moon and in May Apollo 10 had done everything but actually land on the moon, flying the lunar module to within nine miles of the lunar surface.
In 1909 – The Washington Senators and the Detroit Tigers establish a major league record for the longest scoreless game, playing to an 18-inning, 0-0 tie in Detroit. There was no shortage of baserunners with 13 hits and nine walks and only three double plays, but no one was able to score and the game was called despite reports indicating there was still daylight left for further play. Research into whose record the teams broke was inconclusive and the record is now held by the Brooklyn Dodgers and Cincinnati Reds who played a `19-inning, 0-0 tie in 1946.
In 1977 – Shaun Cassidy is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Da Doo Ron Ron. The song spent twelve weeks in the Top 40, seven of them in the Top 10 and was the first chart single for Cassidy, his first of three Top 10 and four Top 40 hits and remains his only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada and did not chart in Great Britain. It was the third appearance on the chart for the song: in 1963 the Crystals peaked at #3 with it and in 1972 Ian Matthews peaked at #96.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
One must wait until the evening to see how splendid the day has been. – Sophocles
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The Providence Grays won two National League pennants, in 1879 and 1884. In 1884 they won what is now considered the first World Series, defeating the New York Metropolitans, champions of the American Association 3 games to zero in a three-game series. The Grays folded in 1885.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Shaun Cassidy’s mother also had a #1 song on the Hot 100. Who is Shaun’s mother and what is the song? – Answer next time!
