Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, May 9
The new, red-with-brass-borders dinnerware is slowly getting broken in…First off was a coffee mug, giving my old Navy mug some time off, then I used a bowl for cereal and a dinner plate for lunch…It was a good purchase and if I can avoid breaking them they should last a long time…I didn’t even think twice about throwing out the glass plates and bowls, which I never liked, tho I will keep the old white plates because those go back to old bachelor days and they’re still going strong…But they won’t get used much unless I have to serve dinner to more than four people, which will never happen because ol’ Sparrow doesn’t have that many places to sit.
I started eating cereal again last week and to start off I’m going with All Bran-type stuff…I got two different types and they’re similar and I actually mix them together…I’ve always liked these and they don’t have any sugar at all, key for ol’ Sparrow in his old age and let me tell you something, there aren’t a whole lot cereals without sugar out there.
Got a much-needed haircut today…I went to the guy in the next county – the only one I could get an appointment with before Labor Day, and it did not go well at all…One, he yapped constantly…After ten minutes of blather, he finally got around to asking me what kind of haircut I wanted and I said short, get rid of the curls, but leave enough to comb back…He nods and says “how about a scissors cut?” and I say “perfect” and I settle in in good spirits because a scissors cut is what the chicks at the franchise place in town give me…So he’s scissoring away and chatting amiably for a few minutes when BOOM I hear the clippers going and before I could say anything he’s flinging away back there like he’s trimming a hedge in his yard.
Christ, this isn’t what I wanted at all…I wanted a scissors cut which means that except for very minor fine-tuning you only use effing scissors…”Scissors cut” is not code for “use the clippers”…This was demoralizing and I prepared myself to despise the end result because you can’t undo what you’ve done, especially at the barber.
And I was not disappointed in this…It looked uneven and he didn’t even let me see the back which was actually OK because I probably would’ve started weeping because he really did a number back there…I looked like my hair had been attacked by a particularly pissed off badger…I mentally shrugged and told myself I could get the clippers out at home and cut it to one, short, length and even shave it if needed…This is actually a pretty good look for ol’ Sparrow, but not one I want right now.
So I get home and, still manfully refusing to weep, decide to defer the matter of slitting my wrists by putting some Brylcreem in it to see how that looked…I put a dab in a palm and wet it, ran it thru my flowing locks and then combed it and, Upset of the Year, it actually looks passable…Not great, but all right…From the front…Tonight at the hotel I will get Assistant Front Desk Manager Devani’s opinion on the matter and even have her take pictures of the back…Then we’ll see…It could all come off tomorrow.
I’ve had some lousy haircuts over the years…Of course, Pa Sparrow’s lousy home haircuts set the pace, then there was some respite during the teenage years when I was permitted to go to Sam the Barber, who some research shows is 78 and still cutting hair…In the Navy, all on-base – or, heaven forbid, all shipboard – haircuts sucked hind tit as we used to say, so you didn’t get them there unless you had to.
The hair actually looked good enuff that I made a Sparrow For US Senate video…I put on a dress shirt and tie, too…Polo shirts are OK for running for the House, but the US Senate, well, that’s top of the ticket in the state and in my book requires a tie at the minimum and usually suit coat, too…I was also wearing some gym shorts and my slippers and the cat was sleeping, off-camera, in her bed that’s on the desk, just off to the left…I kept it short, saying howdy and mentioning the online debate Tuesday night and the June 30 primary, adding that while you had to be a party member to vote in the primary, you could register right up thru Election Day…I closed strong, too, saying that our country was calling, the only question was if we are listening, a line I came up a couple of weeks ago.
The weather is still brisk and I am still wearing a watch cap and gloves…Just for funsies, I headed out to the fairgrounds as I did for the first time last week, then continued on to the new school they’re building before heading back to Main Street and home…I like this route because I don’t pass any gardens with red tulips.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log:
1900 Friday until 0230 Saturday
1930 Saturday until 2130 Saturday
9.5 hours for the day and 43.0 hours for the week, a lousy total but recall the misfit utility worker who woke up three or four hours early on Tuesday, so we lost some hours there.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
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