The Daily Dose/Tuesday, April 28, 2020

The Daily Dose/April 28, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow pays the Internet bill. Today’s Diary. 

I’d go online and try to QuickPay the bill but was never allowed to and I never remembered to call during the two-and-a-half hours every third Monday their “service” department is open…I was determined to today, tho, because the last bill I have from them is dated March 1 and even a loser like me knows it’s, probably, time to pay it. 

So I go online and the wonders of QuickPay are still denied me so I open an online chat and get the automated, virtual agent and I start working that but I also call them and the guy says their system is down but assures me transfer to their QuickPay would solve all my problems and even make my clothes springtime fresh again and I want to tell him his beloved QuickPay isn’t fucking working but I can’t because I’m transferred immediately and I’m prompted to enter some information and then BOOM I’m right back talking to an operator again.

Now, on the online chat front, I’ve provided enuff automated responses so I am now chatting with an agent, so I am connected to two live humans on two separate mediums and the race is on to see who can process my payment first. 

Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today

In 1994 – Former CIA counterintelligence officer Aldrich Ames pleads guilty to espionage charges. Ames and his wife Nancy had been arrested in February after a year-long investigation and it is estimated Ames’ spying led the execution of at least ten US spies. Ames, now 78, is serving a life sentence without parole at a federal prison in Indiana. His wife served a five-year sentence for tax evasion and conspiracy. 

In 1901 – Bock Baker of the Cleveland Blues, now the Indians, establishes a new American League record for most singles given up in a game in a 10-4 loss to the Chicago White Sox. Baker gave up 23 singles, the entire White Sox hit total, though only five of the runs he gave up were earned. It was the major league debut for Baker and on May 1 he was sold to the Philadelphia Athletics, where he pitched in one game before being released with a career record of 0-2 with a 7.71 ERA. The major league record is 28, done by John Wadsworth of Louisville Colonels (NL) in 1894.

In 1973 – Pink Floyd is at #1 on Billboard’s album chart – then known as the Top LPs and Tape chart and now known as the Billboard 200 – for the only week with The Dark Side of the Moon. The album was in its seventh week on the chart and was the first of five #1 albums in the US for the group. The album remained on the chart until 1988 and then reappeared in 2009 when Billboard changed its method of ranking albums and all told has spent a record 949 weeks – the equivalent of over 18 years – on Billboard’s album chart.  

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Science is composed of errors, but errors it is right to make, for they lead step by step to the truth. – Jules Verne, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Montreal Canadiens won the 1971 Stanley Cup, defeating the Chicago Blackhawks 4 games to 3 in the finals. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What album did Dark Side of the Moon replace at #1 on Billboard’s album chart? – Answer next time!

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