The Daily Dose/March 16, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…
CRYSTAL BALL ME: There is going to come a time when we are going to have to get back to a normal life. Regardless of whether or not the coronavirus and its attendant illness COVID-19 is eradicated or even somewhat contained, we cannot continue on lockdown like this forever nor with impunity.
People need to earn livings and do the other things that mark the passing of a life. Big things like get married, hold basketball tournaments and travel abroad and mundane things like going out to dinner and buying toilet paper.
Fly In The Ointment: Eventually, enough people will miss enough paychecks and they will get desperate and you get enough desperate people and there will be the chaos and violence that attends mass desperation. The first notes of this symphony are just now starting to be played as us humans – in an utterly human act – are hoarding everything from toilet paper and water to canned soup and canned meat. The first violence associated with toilet paper acquisition can’t be too far away.
Running The Numbers: COVID-19 has killed 6,500 people on a planet with 7.7 billion people a figure that, expressed as a percentage, has a zero, a decimal point and six more zeros before you get to an eight. It is by and large avoiding children, mainly affecting older people already in poor health. We are mindful of the fact infections and deaths are still going up and that the 6,500 dead died earlier than they otherwise would have. A tragedy, certainly, and the way it’s been since time immemorial: some die too soon.
More Fly In The Ointment: Presuming we don’t eradicate it, there is going to come a time when us humans are going to have to accept the death toll associated with COVID-19. We can’t isolate countries and shut down society forever. This is one time when a comparison with influenza is appropriate: we long ago came to terms with the deaths the flu causes. People get sick and die. It’s the way the world is built and long ago the influenza death toll has become part of the human experience. We don’t give it a second thought, much less lockdown society.
The Bottom Line: Eventually we will come to terms with whatever havoc COVID-19 chooses to wreck on us. The sooner we cut to the chase and get back to normal, the better off we will be.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: There are bare shelves at the retailer. Today’s Diary.
Human nature is taking over and the retailer had a lot of empty shelves this morning and I’ll be honest, human nature took over in ol’ Sparrow, too, as I stocked up on some things just in case…This makes no sense I was telling myself even as I was clearing a shelf of just-in-case macaroni and cheese and some other things…
Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
Great moments in us.
In 1985 – Associated Press reporter Terry Anderson is taken hostage in Beirut, on the street after playing tennis, captured by Hezbollah Shiite Muslims in an attempt to drive US forces from Lebanon. Anderson was stuffed into the trunk of a car, moved from time to time and remained a hostage for 6 years and 9 months. Anderson was released in Dec 1991. In 2004 Anderson ran for the Ohio State Senate, getting 46 percent of the vote.
In 1996 – Mike Tyson regains the heavyweight boxing championship of the world, defeating Frank Bruno in a third-round technical knockout in Las Vegas. Tyson had first won the heavyweight title as a 20-year-old in 1986 and lost it to Buster Douglas in 1990, still one of sport’s greatest upsets. Tyson would lose the title to Evander Holyfield in 1997 and last fought for the title in 2002, a loss to Lennox Lewis.
In 1996 – One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the 16th and final consecutive, then a record for most weeks at #1 on the Hot 100. The song broke the record of 14 weeks established by Whitney Houston (I Will Always Love You, 1992-93) and Boyz II Men (I’ll Make Love To You, 1994). The record was tied in 2017 by Luis Fonzi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (Despacito) and is now held by Lil Nas X who spent 19 weeks at #1 with Old Town Road in 2019, a mark which includes one week as a solo act and 18 weeks with Billy Ray Cyrus. Carey’s 19 #1 songs are one behind the Beatles 20 #1 songs for the all-time Hot 100 record.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The unresponsiveness of a god is no obstacle to his popularity… – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Five NHL defensemen – Bobby Orr, Paul Coffey, Al MacInnis, Brian Leetch and Denis Potvin – have scored 100 or more points in a season. Orr and Coffey did it six times, the others once.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was Mariah Carey’s first #1 song on the Hot 100? – Answer next time!
