The Daily Dose/March 11, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…
BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE SOME TOILET PAPER?: Mankind continues to go bonkers over the Covid-19 illness. We are (probably) overreacting.
Running The Numbers: So far there have been, more or less, 119,200 cases worldwide with, again more or less, 4,000 deaths. Now, this is a new illness, of course, so we’re not entirely sure what the hell is going on, but the survival rate is over 96%, so the danger to us 7.7 billion humans is low. As She has been doing since time immemorial, Mother Nature has favored us with another new malady.
FunFact: Either it will run its course and die off or it won’t and will end up as being as common as the flu and familiarity will lead to accepting it as par for the human course. Until then, sporting events are being canceled or played in front of no one and exciting times are ahead for the upcoming NCAA basketball major division basketball tournaments and the Tokyo Olympics. It would serve the TV networks that force-feed you their mindless blather well to have these events canceled.
Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: In the meantime, can we stop hoarding all the goddamned toilet paper? The illness causes a variety of ailments, none of which are increased crapping. Chill out. We can understand hoarding sanitizer and whatnot. This doesn’t bother us because we wash our hands more than once a month, but please, stop hoarding TP. You are not going to need any more of it than usual. At least from this illness.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow does the wake-up greeting at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
I completely nailed the wake-up call today, too, somewhat surprising because I hadn’t done it for a while but swing shift was so busy neither Q nor Amy – busy rustling up reward club enrollments, no doubt – could be bothered to do it…One take, too…I reviewed the weather forecast, made some mental notes and dove right in:
“Hi, it’s Sparrow with your wake-up call, it’s Tuesday, March 10…Sunny today in town, highs will be in the 40s and lows in the mid-20s…Have a great day and thank you for staying with us.”
Call it the instincts all the great ones have if you must, but I knew I’d nailed it…I listened to it just to confirm I nailed it and I sounded like Casey Kasem announcing the Highest Debuting Song of the Week on American Top 40…It was that good.
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On This Date
Great moments in us.
In 1946 – Rudolph Hoss, the first commandant of the Auschwitz concentration camp, is captured by British troops in Germany, disguised as a gardener and using the name Franz Lang. Hoss’ trial would begin in Poland a year later, where he was convicted of war crimes and executed on April 16, 1947. During his captivity Hoss compiled an autobiography and talked candidly, with little remorse, about his actions. He had been turned in by his wife, who had done so to protect their son, who was being interrogated by the British.
In 1979 – Randy Holt of the Los Angeles Kings establishes new NHL records for most penalties and penalty minutes in a period in a 6-3 loss to the Philadelphia Flyers. Holt had nine penalties totaling 67 minutes in the first period: one for holding, three for fighting, two for misconduct and three game misconducts. Holt broke the records of seven penalties and 44 minutes established by separate players and his records still stand. The team marks of 49 penalties and 362 minutes also established NHL records for one period, though both records have since been broken.
In 1972 – Nilsson is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth and final consecutive week with Without You. The song also went to #1 in five other countries, including Ireland and Great Britain and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. It was the fourth of eight Top 40 hits for Nilsson, his second of three Top 10 hits and remains his only #1 song. Mariah Carey charted with the song in 1994, where it returned to #1 in Great Britain and peaked at #3 on the Hot 100.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Most history is guessing, and the rest is prejudice. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Vern Mikkelsen holds the NBA record for fouling out of the most games in a career with 127.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Two members of what group wrote the song Without You? – Answer next time!
