The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 17
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Doesn’t anybody want to lose this thing?
Presented with the chance to cement their spot atop the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – the New York Giants blinked, defeating Miami, though it should be pointed out a lot of teams have beaten Miami this season.
Welcome back Cincinnati! The Bengals, long the #1 team in the Bottom Ten i 2019, ascend the throne yet again, a mere two (2)-game losing streak away from the Bottom Ten title Marvin Lewis could never deliver.
This week’s mess, as the nags pass the eighth pole:
1. Cincinnati Bengals (1-11; lost to New England 34-13) – Lost in cacophony over Patriots filming Bengals signals is fact Bengals themselves never knew them in the first place…Bengals can claim best season ever by losing out, eclipsing 2002 squad’s 2-14 mark…Next Loss: at Miami
2. Miami Dolphins (3-11; lost to New York Giants 36-20) – Dolphins clutch in must-lose game, snapping Giants nine (9)-game skid…With losses in hand to both Giants and Redskins, berth on final B-10 medal stand theirs to lose, literally, with B-10 title in sight with loss to Bengals this week…Next Loss: Cincinnati
3. Detroit Lions (3-10-1; lost to Tampa Bay 38-17) – Lions making big late-season roar for final B-10 medal stand spot, as current seven (7)-game skid best in league…Lions also making early pitch for B-10 Team of Century honors, having lost ten (10) games in a season for 12th time this century…Next Loss: at Denver
4. Washington Redskins (3-11; lost to Philadelphia 37-27) – Redskins show mettle that tends to lead straight to B-10 glory, blowing four (4) leads t Eagles…Still though, Redskins own worst enemy in 2019, as only wins over Lions, Dolphins, keeping them off B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: New York Giants
5. New York Giants (3-11; defeated Miami 36-20) – All the laughter dies in victory, as Giants blow chance for B-10 title with ill-timed win…Giants B-10 medal stand hopes could pick up momentum with strength-of-schedule points from loss to Redskins this week…Next Loss: at Washington
6. NFC East (20-36) – With first-place teams both 7-7, and rest of division strutting stuff in this week’s survey, NFC East easy pick for weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL’s worst division…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” though, some of luster has come off, as division champion guaranteed to win at least eight (8) games and finish with winning record.
7. Carolina Panthers (5-9; lost to Seattle 30-24) – Panthers have gone from penthouse to B-10 in 2019, as current six (6)-game skid second-best in league…Though final B-10 medal stand berth probably out of the question, Panthers can set strong tone for 2020 by ending season on eight (8)-game skid…Next Loss: at Indianapolis
8. Arizona Cardinals (4-9-1; defeated Cleveland 38-24) – B-10 pollsters biggest beneficiary of Cardinals win, as they are all but assured of not having to figure out tiebreaker with Lions, whom they tied with in Week 1…Next Loss: at Seattle
9. Oakland Raiders (6-8; lost to Jacksonville 20-16) – Hard-charging Raiders, determined to show Vegas they’re serious about contending for B-10 titles, have lost four (4) straight…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” this is latest team still in NFL playoff hunt has made B-10 survey…Raiders now 1-1 in final game ever in Oakland…Next Loss: at Los Angeles Chargers
10. Indianapolis Colts (6-8; lost to New Orleans 34-+7) – Another late bloomer, Colts have lost four (4) straight…Colts get nod for final spot in survey over Cleveland based on longest current losing streak…Colts defense already in offseason mode, giving up 30.75 ppg in last four outings…Next Loss: Carolina
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Cincinnati at Miami
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Detroit at Denver
This One’s Going To Suck, Too: Carolina at Indianapolis
