The Daily Dose/March 9, 2025
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. Donald Trump – General Secretary Trump now presiding over America’s first dictatorship since Lincoln’s in Civil War…Amerika now being governed off of top of Trump’s head, which is bad because Trump is witless, believing moon is part of Mars, that Colorado deserve border fence, and that Canada should be 51st state.
2. South Carolina– Noted US state comes kicking and screaming into 19th century, executing someone by firing squad this week, though it should be noted the condemned chose this method over electrocution and lethal injection…Bravo for options, but this is further evidence that America is in retrograde…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still unclear about which method they would choose…On the one hand, they’ve been gassed, and it wasn’t too bad, but they’ve heard getting shot doesn’t hurt as much as you might think.
3. People’s Republik of Amerika – The 3-hole staple…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” 2026 midterm elections will go off as scheduled, because while General Secretary Trump is ignorant and selfish, he is not necessarily evil…His only goal is to draw as much attention to himself as possible.
4. Los Angles Lakers – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” NBA must go through formality of holding NBA playoffs, but you, me, and your aunt in Reno knows our Lakers, Luka Doncic, and Lebron James will take it all…EDITOR’S NOTE FOLLOWING LEBRON JAMES INJURY: Oh hell, all is lost…Nevermind.
5. Donald Trump Fact Check: – Click here for a list of the lies Trump told to Congress this week…Courtesy of the Associated Press.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reports some changes at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
The big news – tho perhaps not shocking news, since his job was advertised last week – is that EZ has been fired…
———
Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1946- A crowd crush at a soccer stadium in central England kills 33 and injures more than 400. The crowd was estimated at 85,000 for the match between Bolton and Stoke City in an FA Cup match. Fans had climbed over closed turnstiles and entered through a previously locked gate and eventually a barrier collapsed crushing those underneath. The game was resumed with some of the dead lying beyond the field of play and ended in a 0-0 tie.
In 1991 – Theo Fleury of the Calgary Flames establishes a new NHL record for short-handed goals in a game in an 8-4 win over the St Louis Blues. Fleury had three shorthanded goals, breaking the record of two that had been done many times previously. Fleury retired in 2003 with 35 shorthanded goals, a mark good for eleventh on the all-time list.
In 1996 – Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for a record-breaking 15th week with One Sweet Day. The song broke the record of 14 weeks at #1 established by Whitney Houston in 1993 with I Will Always Love You and tied in 1994 by Boyz II Men with I’ll Make Love To You, and the record is now 19 weeks by Old Town Road by Lil Naz X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus in 2019 and tied last year by Shaboozey with A Bar Song (Tipsy).
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
It doesn’t take a year to tell an apple from a wart.
Rex Stout
The Black Mountain
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
The last game played by a Louisville major league baseball team was on October 15, 1899, when the Louisville Colonels defeated the Chicago Orphans 9-5 in Chicago in the second game of a doubleheader. In the first game, the Orphans had defeated the St Louis Perfectos 7-0. It was the 15th of 17 major league doubleheaders that involved three teams.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who holds the NHL record for most career shorthanded goals? – Answer next time!
