Sure, Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary is a thing today.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, March 16
The Assistant Front Desk Manager (AFDM) was a font of information when we reported for duty at the hotel tonite…First, he pointed out the new sign-in procedure for The System…Actually, the procedure is the same, but we were asked to set up a couple of security questions in case The System ever felt the need to ask them to us…Because the only security question that makes sense to us involves names, we chose our father’s first name and our boyhood nickname.
The AFDM also pointed out some new sundry stand items…He didn’t think we’d care but let me tell you something: knowing beats getting caught unprepared…Recently they added those Nutter Butter cookies and while we were able to ring them without incident – perhaps even with some aplomb – it would’ve been nice to know we had them before having a guest spring them on us.
The new items are Grandma’s cookies, salt and pepper potato chips, and those Goldfish crackers…Rather seriously, we stroked our chin and quizzed the AFDM about the wisdom of offering two types of cheese-flavored crackers (recall we also offer Cheez-Itz, far superior, if you ask us) when, perhaps, the space could’ve been used another offering…The humor of this completely escaped the AFDM, who gave a serious reply…What’s funny is we are already almost out of all the new stuff…Not because guests are buying them, but because the AFDM, Tammy, and the AGM are buying them.
We were far from sold out tonite, and the AFDM advised the lowest we could go on a room was $250, plus tax, a rate that straddles the line of demarcation for guys needing a room to fornicate…Anything less than $250 then BOOM, you got a sale because a guy who has worked it enuff to calling for a room is going to spend $250 to continue the conquest with no questions asked…Anything more than $250, plus tax, and boy, you can almost see them on the other end of line looking at the chick, mentally looking at his bank balance, and then making a very quick cost/benefit analysis…No one called for rooms, tho.
We did make a $10 gratuity tonite, from this loud, clueless broad who pestered us for most of an hour…First, she wanted to know if this certain restaurant was still open…It’s a nice place I took Julie to once when the Fancy French Joint (FFJ) was closed…It’s not as good as the FFJ, tho the broad said it had the best French onion soup “anywhere”…We’ve had it, and it’s good, but she’s lying, we’ve had better, including The Ex’s and that steakhouse we’re going to next week…Anyway, a quick check showed it’s open Thursdays-Saturdays now…I think she liked me because she kept drumming lame-o conversation before finally scramming…She was right back asking about laundry facilities, but then she remembered she’d forgotten to get cash, no problemo here tho, because we have an ATM…Then she came back for change, her $20 bill being converted to fives, ones, and quarters, two fives of which were issued to yours truly.
(Standard procedure vis-a-vis Gratuity Disposition was followed, of course: we went to the convenience store for five quick picks in tonite’s Lucky4Ever drawing…Upon receiving the ticket we reviewed it and made our usual joke about how great these numbers looked tho, in call candor, they’re merely five random assortments of even and odd numbers, a cruel but necessary way of looking at it…By the same token, however, they all looked due, too…In other news from the Financial Desk (FD), the lucky numbers ticket remains in play for a couple of more drawings.)
The big news is there are fresh boxes of coffee in the back office coffee room (BOCR), both French roast and European blend…No one was sufficiently alacritous to take the flaps off the tops of the boxes, but this meant solid work for the knife, so we’re not complaining.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1130 Saturday until 2130 Saturday…8.0 hours for the day and 51.5 hours for the week…The first is a good total you’ll take any day of the week, while the second is solid, hardly a PB but anything over 50 is good.
It’s almost interesting that we were up at 1730…We were feeling good, and we were about to get up and head into the gym when we closed our eyes – it wasn’t even a patented Sparrow Roll Over (SRO), either – and BOOM, the next thing we know, it’s 1930.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!
