The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Three 0-5 teams, three Bottom Ten medal stand berths. That part is easy.
It’s the rest of the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – that is keeping the nation on the edge of its seats. Between the Chargers and the Bengals, not to mention the entire AFC South, it promises to be race that will come down to the last false start and crucial turnover that decides matters in 2017.
This week’s mess, as the nags enter the clubhouse turn:
1. Cleveland Browns (0-5; lost to New York Jets 17-14) – With Cavaliers and Indians regularly playing for championships and defending B-10 champion Browns 0-5 for second straight season, Cleveland sports fan(s) reveling in glory days…Next Loss: at Houston
2. San Francisco 49ers (0-5; lost to Indianapolis 26-23 OT) – Niners show mettle that leads straight to B-10 medal stand, blowing 23-9 deficit to rally for second straight overtime loss…..Next Loss: at Washington
3. New York Giants (0-5; lost to Los Angeles Chargers ) – Giants show strong finishing kick required for B-10 medal stand run, pulling defeat from jaws of victory by getting outscored 10-0 in final five (5) minutes…Giants 0-5 for first time since 2013…Next Loss: at Denver
4. Los Angeles Chargers (1-4; defeated New York Giants 27-22) – Despite road win, Chargers comforting themselves with knowledge they’re still winless at home in city that doesn’t care about them…StubHub Center spokesman assures LA sports fans tarps in place for Charger games will be removed in time for Paraguay/Indonesia soccer friendly next week..Next Loss: at Oakland
5. Oakland Raiders (2-3; lost to Baltimore 30-17) – It’s not easy to fly cross country and win in the NFL, unless you fly into Oakland to take on Raiders…After 2-0 start, Raiders back in thick of B-10 race with third straight loss, losing by average score of 24.3-to-9 in process..Next Loss: Los Angeles Chargers
6. NFL – League’s plan to have black players stand at midfield and sing Kumbaya not gaining traction as some still insist on kneeling to protest fact blacks still do not get a fair shake in this country…Next Loss: Entire league within a generation, as nobody wants to watch or play football anymore.
7. Cincinnati Bengals (2-3; defeated Buffalo 20-16) – After strong 0-3 start, Bengals B-10 title hopes slipping away following second straight win…Bengals need strong, road, divisional loss this week to stem tide…Next Loss: at Pittsburgh
8. Indianapolis Colts (2-3; defeated San Francisco 26-23 OT) – With wins over Cleveland and San Francisco, Colts show they are not quite bad enough to contend for B-10 medal just yet…With three (3) 0-5 teams, Colts need to lose out to have any hope of finishing on B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: at Tennessee
9. AFC South (9-11) – Division so historically awful it has shown modest improvement from bottom to bottom in 2017 and still has vice-like grip on Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL’s worst division.
10. Vice President Mike Pence – Despite orchestrated exit before start of Colts/49ers game, Vice President Pence getting quiet approval from Colts fans who would have loved to do what he did: leave early and not be forced to watch lousy Colts play football.
Game of the Week: Los Angeles Chargers at Oakland
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Cleveland at Houston
