The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 17
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Doesn’t anybody want to win The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy?
In a week that will live in infamy, 40% of last week’s survey won, including two-thirds of the medal stand. And – in what History will long refer to as the Monday Night Massacre – both the Titans and the Giants won in prime time.
Thank God for the consistency of the Carolina Panthers, who steadfastly retained the #1 spot with their sixth straight loss.
This week’s mess, as the nags are at the head of the stretch:
1. Carolina Panthers (1-12; lost to New Orleans 28-6) – Current six (6)-game skid currently NFL’s best…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” Panthers first team “in like a long time and stuff” with two (2) six (6) game losing streaks in one (1) season…Next Loss: Atlanta
2. Las Vegas Raiders (5-8; lost to Minnesota 3-0) – Five (5) wins an awful lot for B-10 medal stand team, but Raiders team on the move having lost three (3) straight…Raiders highest ranked team still in NFL playoff hunt…Next Loss: LA Chargers
3. NFC South (19-33) – Three (3) teams in first place with losing records more than enough to earn NFC South not only the Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division, but also first-ever, coveted spot on B-10 medal stand.
4. New England Patriots (3-10; defeated Pittsburgh 21-18) – Six (6)-time Super Bowl winning coach Bill Belichick starting to hear first “coach that can’t lose the big one” rumblings, though misguided win didn’t keep Patriots from being eliminated from NFL playoff contention…Next Loss: Kansas City
5. Minnesota at Las Vegas – Yet another B-10 Game of the Year nominee, Vikings and Radiers not only produce second-lowest scoring game in NFL history, but thrill regional audience with 17 punts – each one designed to keep you on the edge of your seat – not to mention two (2) other kicks AND two (2) turnovers.
6. Los Angeles Chargers (5-8; lost to Denver 24-7) – Chargers need loss this week to avenge 10/1 win over Raiders…If they can do that, remaining games against Bills, Broncos, Chiefs all very losable…Next Loss: at Las Vegas
7. Tennessee Titans (5-8; defeated Miami 28-27) – Titans – no strangers to B-10 glory – know they blew already longshot B-10 title hopes with thrilling come-from-behind road win…They also know 2023 B-10 hopes rest on big loss to Texans this week…Next Loss: Houston
8. New York Giants (5-8; defeated Green Bay 24-22) – Giants the poster team for Yay/Boo Syndrome: Yay for being in the Week 15 Bottom Ten survey, Boo for winning three straight…Still though, Giants earn tie-breaker over Jets based on head-to-head record…Next Loss: at New Orleans
9. New York Jets (5-8; defeated Houston 30-6) – From coveted spot on B-10 medal stand to barely hanging in survey, Jets prime example of how untimely wins can spoil chances at B-10 glory…Still though, if Jets can lose out, they’ll finish 2023 with a tough-to-ignore nine (9) losses in final ten (10) games…Next Loss: at Miami
Editor’s Note: due to the utter lack of lousy teams, there are only nine (9) teams ranked this week.
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Atlanta at Carolina
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: LA Chargers at Las Vegas
