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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 3
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
And they’re off, as the race for the most coveted in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – begins with a whole new slate of winless teams staring Bottom Ten fan(s) in the face. Can the Giants repeat? Will Jacksonville or Detroit rebound from 2021’s collapse? Will an opening week winner assert themselves?
Maybe, but veteran Bottom Ten watcher(s) know the road to the title will be won or lost – probably lost – in Jacksonville.
This week’s mess, as the nags break from the starting gate:
1. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1; lost to Washington 28-22) – Jaguar fan(s) sitting around doing nails as “generational” QB taking leisurely route to Hall of Fame, playoffs…Jaguars plainly wearing chip on shoulder pads, as squad mindful that only win in finale prevented B-10 title last year…Motto for 2022: Never again…Next Loss: Indianapolis
2. Detroit Lions (0-1; lost to Philadelphia 38-35) – Another team wondering “what if” after blowing 2021 B-10 title, Lions show they’re all in for yet another B-10 title chase by getting blown out 38-14 in middle two (2) quarters…Next Loss: Washington
3. Carolina Panthers (0-1; lost to Cleveland 26-24) – Defense getting kudos for building deficit not even 17 fourth-quarter points by offense could overcome…Current eight (8)-game skid best in NFL…Next Loss: at New York Giants
4. New York Jets (0-1; lost to Baltimore 24-9) – Jets off to strong start in quest for Ed Koch Kup – symbolic of Gotham NFL ineptitude – breaking out to 10-0 and 24-3 deficits…Strong start by offense key, producing three (3) punts and an interception early on…Next Loss: at Cleveland
5. Dallas Cowboys (0-1; lost to Tampa Bay 19-3) – Though not in preseason B-10 survey, B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” they will never get tired of ranking Cowboys…Loss of starting QB for a few weeks excellent change to establish 2022 B-10 street cred…Next Loss: Cincinnati
6. NFL – Good gravy, people, it’s the third decade of the 21st century…You’ve been playing games for over a hundred years and you still haven’t figured out how to have every game produce a winner???…B-10 pollsters “strongly suspect” this will change once betting partners start demanding it.
7. Atlanta Falcons (0-1; lost to New Orleans 27-26) – Establish the run, they say, so Falcons rush for 201 yards and still lose…Limit points off turnovers they say, so Falcons two (2) turnovers lead to zero (0) Saints points, meaning Falcons showing mettle that generally leads straight to B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: at Los Angeles Rams
8. AFC South – Easy pick for weekly Pete Rozelle Award – issued to league’s worst division, as entire division winless after opening weekend ..Next Loss: Loss of NFL status, as division gets caught up in college football conference realignment imbroglio and ends up in Sun Belt Conference.
9. Arizona Cardinals (0-1; lost to 44-21) – With solid opening week thumping, Cardinals early candidate for B-10’s new Otis Elevator Award, to be issued to team that goes from playoffs to B-10 medal stand in 2022…Next Loss: at Las Vegas
10. Cincinnati Bengals (0-1; lost to Pittsburgh 23-20) – Despite being defending AFC champions Bengals, a B-10 legacy team, show they are out to shed “Worst Team Never To Win B-10 Title” moniker in 2022…Next Loss: at Dallas
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Indianapolis at Jacksonville
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Cincinnati at Dallas
